By Marc Elusive, on May 17th, 2012  Commentators: Scott Stanford, Josh Matthews & Matt Striker
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
I would like to take this opportunity to welcome my son, Gabriel Harrison [Elusive], into the world as he was delivered at 4:25 a.m. EST, this morning (May 17, 2012).
Alex Riley vs. Heath Slater: This is the bottom of the barrel for non-NXT contracted talent; weird too because the WWE was high on both of these guys, especially Riley, he can wrestle and talk pretty well. The two former NXT (seasons 1 and 2, respectively) argue with each other. Riley clamps on a side headlock and Slater hoots when he escapes; Alex locks in another but segues into a hammerlock. Slater reverses and steamrolls Riley; Riley picks the ankle and applies a front facelock then controls the arm. Slater tries to roll through but Riley blocks. He finally takes over and hits another shoulderblock but runs into a dropkick; he applies an armbar as Scott Stanford compares Riley to Ricky Vaughn in Major League in that he has all the skill but does not have it under control. Awesome, Major League is my all-time favorite baseball movie. Slater backs him into the corner and pounds away. Riley takes the advantage back but mistakenly heads to the top a little too soon and gets crotched. Back from break, Slater has a chinlock slapped on; Riley rises and rams Slater’s head into the buckle. He tosses him cross-corner but charges into a boot and Slater headlocks him again, for a while, with a few nearfalls sprinkled in. Heath tries some momentum moves with hits body for leverage to try to make this a little less boring. Slater hits Miller’s Crossing (hangman’s neckbreaker) for two and returns to the chinlock; lots of chinlocks in this match from Slater, who usually does not rely on them this much. Riley tries a comeback but Slater low bridges him to the floor. Slater comes after him allowing Riley the running dropkick within the ropes; he heads to the top and connects with a flying clothesline. Riley is slow to recover and they trade punches; A-Ry gets the better of it and hits a charging clothesline and a spinebuster. Riley with a Stinger splash and the A-Bomb, which only gets two; he tries a whip but Slater reverses and hits a back suplex into a facebuster and gets the three. 4.5/10 This was a bit boring in the beginning with the OMRB’s chinlocks; it got very entertaining in the end, which was won by Slater, and no longer the bottom of the barrel. Perhaps another Slater push?
Here is your winner Heath Slater @ about 14:15 (broadcast) via back suplex facebuster pinfall.
Tyson Kidd vs. Lord Tensai (w/Sakamoto): I hope this is just a match to feature Tensai on Superstars and the WWE hasn’t lost faith in him; he may not be over but I think a month is too short a time to gauge it. Kidd is already in the ring… on WWE Superstars. Tensai has no Samurai ring gear on and shoves Sakamoto out of the way on his way to the ring. He roughs Kidd up in the corner and hits a knee in the corner. Tensai pounds him down and hits a short clothesline and a bodyslam; he applies a bearhug. Tyson fights free but runs into a shoulderblock; Tensai misses a charge in the corner and Kidd gets some token offense in with some spin kicks. Tensai avoids the springboard clothesline and hits a falling Baldo Bomb. He connects with an avalanche and hits the claw assisted STO for the pinfall. Post-match, Tensai hits a running senton because he’s evil. I think Tensai got some new ink on the back of his head recently. Tensai verbally abuses Sakamoto at the top of the ramp upon his exit. 3/10 Big squash for Tensai here, who was surprisingly not on Raw this week.
Here is your winner… Lord Tensai @ about 5:15 via claw STO pinfall.
The Raw Rebound is John Laurinaitis abusing his power over the Big Show and “firing” him; for my full review of that show click here.
Jimmy & Jey Uso vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero): I like the Usos, I feel bad that they cannot seem to get a break during the seeming tag team renaissance; almost the Kofi Kingston (when he was a singles star) of the tag division, the WWE never seems to know quite what to do with them. Ziggler and Jey start the match, lock up, and Ziggler grabs the ropes to avoid an Irish whip and SHOWS OFF. Dolph stupidly head-butts an Uso and pays for it as Jey dances and gives him a REAL one. Jimmy tags in and they hit tandem elbow drops. Ziggler boots his leg and brings in Swagger who pounds Jimmy in their corner. Jimmy fires back but Swagger hits a rolling neckbreaker into a bodyslam; he misses the high-angle legdrop but manages to get Ziggler in there but he eats a hiptoss. Jimmy slides to avoid a cross-corner whip and slaps on an armbar. Dolph tries to CREATE SEPARATION but runs into a chop. Jey tags and hits a pendulum backbreaker for two. Dolph punches back and takes Jey down with a fireman’s carry; Ziggler with a chinlock. Jey does not stay in that too long but eats a boot to counter a Samoan Avalanche. Swagger tags and hits a nice belly-to-belly suplex; Ziggler adds some illegal choking in the heel corner. Jey manages to play keep-away long enough to score a tag to Jimmy who lays out Dolph with clotheslines and the Bubba Bomb for two (Swagger interfered). Jey runs in and distracts the referee allowing more doubling up by Dolph and Jack on his brother. Back from commercial, Jack Swagger turns Jimmy inside-out with a clothesline. The Guerrero Stable quick tag on Jimmy and Dolph hits a Rick Rude taunting neckbreaker and drops some high-angle elbow drops; Swagger returns and slaps on the double armlock. Jimmy fights free and lunges into a tag but Swagger cuts him off and tries the ankle lock but gets shoved aside; Jimmy tosses Swagger to the floor but he cleverly pulls Jimmy off the apron thus cutting off the tag. Jey Uso charges in but gets blocked by the referee which allows more illegal double teaming. Ziggler retreats to the floor to CHECK HIS PULSE. Ziggler minds the hair and applies a chinlock and armbar. Dolph tries another Rude Awakening but it’s turned around and Jimmy runs right into the Name Dropper (I liked Hashtagger better). Swagger tags in and continues the arm work; Jack with a legdrop, which nets two. Ziggler returns and taunts Jimmy with a false tag and tries another Name Dropper but Jimmy turns it into a really weak looking powerbomb. Jey and Swagger get double tags and Jey pounds Swagger down and hits the Samoan Avalanche, for two. Dolph distracts and Swagger looks for the Dr. Bomb but Jey turns into a schoolboy and GETS THE SHOCKING PINFALL. 6/10 I stand corrected; the Usos won the match, which is akin to Alex Riley beating Daniel Bryan, nowadays; here, we had a good match with a clever ending that will (hopefully) lead to better days for the Usos.
Here are your winners… Jimmy & Jey Uso @ about 15:15 (broadcast) via schoolboy rollup.
OVERALL 4.5/10 Better than last week but nowhere near the levels this show had reached in recent memory. Perhaps a good indication of how the main shows have been doing.
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By Marc Elusive, on May 16th, 2012  Live from the CONSOL Energy Center in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
This review, which I was not anticipating being able to write, was written in the hospital as my wife is being induced into labor tomorrow and I’m here with her as she sleeps; I can’t sleep so here’s my Raw report.
In the back John Laurinaitis bumps into Triple H and professes his innocence to him and that he has his support and sympathy. HHH wishes him luck against John Cena on Sunday. Hunter with his arm in a mechanical brace heads to the ring; highlights of he and Brock Lesnar are shown. He’s not upset with the physical part of the attack but he’s offended that Lesnar says that he brought “legitimacy” back to the WWE. He reminisces about fighting the Undertaker in a cell at WrestleMania and all the while he was (snidely) thinking “gee, I wish someone would come along and make this legitimate”. Hunter mentions a few other people Lesnar’s comments offended: Taker, Shawn Michaels, Cena, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, Randy Savage… to name a few. He, like all of us, started a fan and as a member of a fan base, he was offended. HHH is embarrassed… that be bought into Lesnar’s crap; he remembers back in 2002 when he first arrived in the WWE, he knew Lesnar would be “the next big thing”. He ripped through the competition and when it got too hard, he quit. He went to the UFC and got to the top there and when it got too hard, he quit then too. Lesnar thought that he could return to the WWE and rip through the competition again but he ran into John Cena and lost, so what happened, Lesnar quit again. Paul Heyman comes out with another guy in a suit. Heyman gets it; he cites “damage control” when a wrestling promoter loses a big star. He still discusses the oral contract that was agreed upon by Laurinaitis; Heyman says this is what happens when you bring a fighter into an entertainment company. He serves him with papers because Lesnar is suing the WWE for all of the millions the WWE owes him. Heyman then bashes HHH for being overhyped and Hunger knocks the mic out of his hands and grabs him by the face. He stares into Heyman’s eyes but thinks better of slugging him and tells Heyman to tell Lesnar “he’s going to get everything he deserves”, throws the papers in his face, and turns to leave. Heyman stops the proceedings and says lawsuit #2 is assault and battery that HHH just performed against him. 4.5/10 Well, HHH sure buried Lesnar there; this is mimicking when Lesnar left the WWE the first time. I like the inclusion of Heyman here, which saves some of Lesnar’s contract appearances and puts Paul back in the WWE, let’s hope he can sneak into some of those Creative meetings.
CM Punk & Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan & Cody Rhodes: There are sure a lot of champions in this match; the WWE Champ, the US Champ and the IC Champ. Punk and Rhodes start in a rather unique matchup that I don’t think I’ve seen. Cody backs him into the corner and works the arm; Punk fires back and bodyslams him. He tosses Rhodes into the heel corner and demands Bryan tag in. Daniel not taking the bait, though so Punk angrily beats on Rhodes and tosses him to the floor. NOW Bryan charges in and bets backdropped over the top onto Cody on the floor. Punk wipes them out with a topé. Santino tries it but fails miserably and gets caught up in the ropes. Punk’s, “you gotta go through the ropes” is pretty funny as we head to break. We return with Santino peppering Rhodes but he loses the advantage pretty quickly. He tries to fire back but eats a forearm and Bryan tags in and hits a running dropkick in the corner for a count of two; Bryan drops a bunch of knees and the fans chant “yes” along with him. Rhodes tags back in and hits a standing gourdbuster. The heels quick tag and Bryan uses a series of kicks and slaps on an armbar. Santino keeps trying to fight back but Bryan stops him and tags in Rhodes; he drops a Ric Flair like knee and gets two. Bryan returns and kicks the snot out of Santino in the corner and when the referee pull him back he shoves a huge “yes” right into Punk’s face; Punk runs into the ring, drawing the referee over, and the heels put the boots to Santino. Marella rolls to avoid a clothesline and dives for the tag but misses by about ten feet. Rhodes laughs at him but gets kicked aside and Punk gets that tag; he springs off the top rope with a clothesline and lays into Cody with a leg lariat and the corner knee strike/bulldog combo. He hoists Cody up for a GTS but he slips over the back but Punk kicks his head off. Bryan charges in and almost gets caught in a Go2Sleep as well but Bryan escapes and heads up the aisle. Cody tries to get the advantage from behind but Punk reverses; Santino freaks him out with the Cobra from the apron and Rhodes wanders right into the GTS for the pinfall. Punk stared at Bryan throughout the entire three count. 6.5/10 Normal tag style match that had the added bonus of both Santino and CM Punk flair to it. This promotes the WWE title match but are they actually going to work a US versus IC title feud as well?
Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix: Well, I don’t see this lasting long; apparently Layla is defending her title against Beth at Over the Limit. Phoenix backs her into the corner and charges, she meets a knee, and leapfrogs over her; Beth counters an attempted roll-up and tosses her back into the corner. Phoenix charges and gets entangled in a head scissors; Beth counters and levels her with a clothesline. Layla appears on the stage to observe as Beth stomps the crap out of her. She press-slams her out of the corner and stares at Layla; Glam Slam ends the squash. Post-match, Layla applauds; Beth tries to snatch Alicia in another Glam Slam but Layla chases her off. 2/10 Squash match to acknowledge the fact that there is a woman’s match at the PPV.
Clips of John Cena (and other various WWE Superstars) being generous and doing stuff for the Make-A-Wish Foundation are shown. Next clips from Big Show making fun John Laurinaitis’ voice and running afoul of Eve Torres, which segues into this…
Big Show vs. Kane: John Laurinaitis and David Otunga come out to watch this match; I don’t have high hopes for this nor will it end cleanly. They lock up and Show uses a wastelock takedown to floor the monster. Show segues into a front facelock; Kane backs him into the corner and hits some shoulderblocks. Show reverses and slugs away with lefts and rights; he hiptosses Kane out of the corner and head-butts him. Kane counters a corner charge with a drop-toe hold and a running crossbody block, for two. Kane pounds away and slaps on a chinlock. Show quickly begins the comeback and hits a few clotheslines; he slams Kane and tries a pump-splash but misses. Kane leaps off the top but lands in a goozle; he fights free and they battle against the ropes. Show tosses Kane to the floor and they both brawl there; Show sends Kane into the ring barrier and spears him. Laurinaitis decides NOW is the time for Show’s apology and demands it. Kane takes advantage and hits a short chokeslam off the ropes for the pinfall. 1.5/10 Total garbage which only serves to lead to this…
John Laurinaitis and David Otunga head into the ring after Big Show’s loss to demand the apology. Big Johnny tells him to get up and face him like a man; he questions the wisdom of making fun of the boss and demands a (good) apology or he’s fired. Show says he thought long and hard about what he is going to say; he says he’s done it all, including having a WrestleMania moment. Show begins to cry and talks of the kids and the friendships he’s made. He appeals to Laurinaitis’ decency and apologizes. Johnny says that he did not hear an apology. Show apologizes again, which STILL isn’t good enough. Laurinaitis demands he get on his knees and beg for his job. Show cries some more and (takes forever to) gets on one knee and… asks him to not force him to get on his knees. Johnny leaves and heads up the ramp but when he gets to the top of the stage and begins to wish him well in his future endeavors but Show collapses to his knees and turns into a blubbering pile of goo, apologizing again. Laurinaitis wishes him well in his future endeavors and fires him. Big Show is left in the ring, on his knees, crying. 2/10 Ugh, that went on FAR too long; I’ll bet Show returns at Over the Limit to help Johnny defeat John Cena.
After break we get highlights of Big Show getting fired in case you didn’t fast-forward though that previous embarrassing segment.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay, Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (w/The Funkadactyls & Little Jimmy) vs. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero): Boy there is some midcard talent here as Truth and Swagger start off; Truth shoves Swagger and dances… and tags in Clay. Brodus wipes the entire heel team by himself: a rhino-head-butt for Swagger, a huge backdrop for Ziggler, and Miz leaps off the top and lands right in the Schuplex. Truth and Kofi clothesline Miz to the floor. Back from break, Ziggler is SHOWING OFF with a headstand chinlock on Truth. We see A.W. and his crew up in a skybox; apparently A.W. is close to signing Mason Ryan to All World Enterprises. Meanwhile in the ring, Truth tries to mount a comeback but eats a dropkick. Miz tags and hits a running boot for two; he segues into a front facelock. Clay distracts Miz from the apron, allowing Truth a leg lariat. Kofi gets the hot tag and springs into Miz with a clothesline. He runs over him with clotheslines and a dropkick and hurracanrana. The S.O.S. connects but Swagger and Ziggler pile on to break up the pinfall. Truth low bridges to wipe out Swagger; Ziggler charges at Clay on the apron but meets his head and splats on the mat. Clay blind tags as Kofi dims Miz’s bulb with Trouble in Paradise; Brodus follows with the splash for the pinfall. Post-match, everyone dances with kids. 4/10 This could have been so much better than it was. The A.W. stuff took away from the match… not that there was much else, other than Ziggler overselling, to see.
In the back CM Punk is talking to Alex Riley about the Yes Lock when AJ Lee approaches him. She wishes him good luck against Daniel Bryan. Punk awkwardly smells a possible swerve and takes off.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho: Sheamus comes out to add some Irish flavor to the commentating team. They lock up and Orton hits a shoulderblock and hiptoss. Orton counters a telegraphed backdrop with a boot and dropkick. Commercial break thirty seconds in. When we return, Jericho has a chinlock locked in because during the break he used a referee shield to poke Randy’s eyes. Orton eventually fires back but Jericho knees him in the gut and hits a slingshot splash for two; he pounds on him in the corner. Orton fights back and charges into a boot; a second-rope missile dropkick gets Jericho two. Chris applies a bow-and-arrow lock; Jericho tries the Lionsault but meets knees. Orton goes into comeback mode and hits clotheslines, scoop=powerslam and stretch backbreaker. Jericho retreats to the ropes, suckering Orton into a Viper DDT attempt and then backdrops him to the floor. Jericho smartly tosses Orton into Sheamus and smirks about it. He tosses Orton back into the ring and… Orton recovers with the Viper DDT. Sheamus angrily pulls Jericho to the floor drawing the DQ on Orton. Randy’s not gonna like that. Post-match, Jericho crawls away as Orton and Sheamus get into an argument on the floor. It devolves into a possible fracas in the ring so a pile of WWE officials run in to quell the tension. 4/10 As far as main events go… this was definitely one of them… because it concluded the in-ring action portion of the show; nothing much else other than a world title match promotion tool, which is fine to promote a PPV but as a match it was not too good.
John Laurinaitis comes out for some announcement that will change the WWE forever and to meet John Cena face to face. He calls the WWE Universe a bunch of losers for backing one in Cena. He says he is better than The Rock and Brock Lesnar combined and without losers there would be no winners, like him. This draws Cena out. Cena smells desperation on Laurinaitis and MAKES FUN OF THE VOICE. He calls him the “Undisputed King of Douchebaggery” for firing the Big Show. He runs through all of Laurinaitis’ failures like trying to get the WWE title off of CM Punk and bringing in Lesnar to take Cena out; he does give him a W at WrestleMania despite him actually doing nothing. He says he’s 1-4 and that makes him a loser; including an Ace Ventura “loser” which would have been hilarious… in 1994. He actually acts like a five-year-old saying loser over and over while Laurinaitis tries to speak. Cena says that he backstabbed everyone to get to where he is now that no one will back him up. He leads the crowd in some disparaging chants. He kisses Pittsburgh’s ass talking about the Steel Curtain and says he will do the same thing to Johnny at Over the Limit. He tries to talk about the Penguins but Laurinaitis interrupts and gets “losered” by Cena. Johnny calls them losers and John adds his reference, “go puck yourself”. Oh, that was clever; I see what he did there. Laurinaitis starts to throw his weight around but Eve Torres interrupts him with some papers from the Board of Directors. He begins to read it but Cena snatches it and reads it aloud. The Board says the match will be one-on-one, no special referees or people in anyone’s corners, pinfall or submission are the only way to win, and if any WWE Superstar interferes they will be terminated. Gee, who has ALREADY been fired? Also, if Laurinaitis loses the match, he’s fired. Cena’s music blares but he cuts it off and asks Johnny about his big announcement. Laurinaitis just SLAPS him and leaves. 2/10 Well, that just caps off this rather horrendous show this week; Cena acting like a child in his promo, as we have gone backwards with Cena from intense with Lesnar to a clown with Laurinaitis. Me, like the rest of the world already has sniffed Big Show saving Laurinaitis’ job at the PPV costing Cena the match.
OVERALL 3/10 Raw really hasn’t been running well since the last three seconds of the Lesnar/Cena match at Extreme Rules. The only reason to buy the PPV this Sunday is for Punk/Bryan and they’ve barley promoted that match. Not a good show this week. Perhaps I SHOULD have been trying to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow!
By Marc Elusive, on May 11th, 2012  From the Roanoke Civic Center in Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
Sheamus & Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho & Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez): This was the best segment of this past week’s dismal Raw so I guess we’ll kick off SmackDown with a bang. Sheamus still has the shoulder taped. Orton and Jericho begin and Orton, of course, starts off hot pounding Jericho in the corner and hits a clothesline. He “tags” Sheamus in who opens with clubbering and a reverse elbow. He reciprocates the “tag” back to Orton. Jericho gets a thumb in and immediately brings in Del Rio; Orton hiptosses him as well but misses the floating knee drop and Del Rio capitalizes with a single-arm DDT. Alberto works the arm and shoulder with a keylock. Orton frees himself with a head-butt and a boot. He (conventionally) tags in Sheamus who mows Del Rio over with clotheslines and punches in the corner. He plants Del Rio with a Finlay Roll and gets two; Jericho low bridges him to the floor and adds a kick to the bad shoulder to take the advantage for his team. He tags in and slaps on a Fujiwara armbar and turns it into a hammerlock. Jericho hits the ropes but gets caught with an Irish Hammer. Orton tags and he opens up on Chris with clotheslines and a short-powerslam; the Viper DDT connects. Jericho counters the RKO but not the follow-up dropkick and Del Rio charges in to break up the pinfall. Sheamus runs in and the match totally breaks apart as the bell rings, double DQ I guess. Post-match the four participants in the Fatal Fourway at the PPV have a referee pull-apart brawl. 5.5/10 This match accomplished the exact same thing that an opening promo between these four that devolves into a brawl; it promotes the PPV and it was done in a wrestling way, which is lost sometimes, having a match that ends in a double DQ is just as impactful as an argument.
AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn: They are playing the best friends angle between them, which Daniel Bryan came between (despite Kaitlyn turning on AJ last year), for these two. AJ tackles her and catfights her; she snaps and kills her with a dropkick and a running knee for the pinfall. Post-match, AJ attacks Kaitlyn after the bell drawing Daniel Bryan of all people out to the ring. He sarcastically says he’s impressed but likes her ruthlessness. He is looking forward to moving on after he becomes the new WWE Champion at Over the Limit… moving on to Kaitlyn. Bryan laughs as AJ storms out of the ring. 4.5/10 That was interesting; I guess he is playing mental games with her.
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan: Bryan’s heel turn began with Show late last year so this is an old rivalry renewed. Show catches Bryan and pounds on him in the corner with chops. He stops his momentum blocking a charge and hitting a second rope leaping knee strike. Show cuts that comeback off quick with a chop and reverse avalanche; Bryan stops the follow-up spear with a low dropkick to the knee. Bryan aggressively stomps away and slaps on the Yes Lock. The bell instantly rings; Show did not tap, it was John Laurinaitis ringing it. Big Johnny announces Bryan the winner by submission. Post-match, Laurinaitis gets in his face about making fun of his voice; he humbles Show and makes him apologize and call him “sir”. He demands a sincere apology on Raw or possibly be fired. Laurinaitis adds that he is going to shock the world at Over the Limit by defeating John Cena. 4/10 Another match that leads directly into a storyline. Laurinaitis’ vulgar display of power has gone over the top, which is good; I don’t mind this angle as much as 90% of the Internet.
Ryback vs. Heath Slater: Slater cuts a pre-match promo ripping Ryback to get the crowd fired up; let’s see if anyone mentions the Nexus past between these two. Ryback shoves Slater down; Heath comes back with a boot and some stomps. He tries a running neckbreaker but Ryback stands up and Slater whiffs. Ryback shoves him into the corner and shoulderblocks him. He hoists him on his left shoulder and slings him overhead onto the ring shoulder for a powerslam. The Sheffield Lariat connects and the Muscle Buster finishes Slater post haste. 2.5/10 This was just another Goldberg squash for Ryback as he moves up to SmackDown contracted talent to destroy. Also, no mention of their NXT or Nexus past is made.
Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana) vs. Alex Riley: Teddy Long is forced as the special guest ring announcer for this match; Riley is already in the ring with no entrance music. Long reads from a cue card and gives Cesaro an over the top ring announcement. Cesaro takes Riley down and punches away; he hits a huge running boot in the corner for a nearfall. Riley tries a dropkick but Cesaro holds the ropes and Alex splats on the mat. He hits a gutwrench suplex and a soccer kick; a double armlock follows. Riley begins a comeback and hits a running shoulderblock, flooring Antonio and surprising Aksana, who is seated right next to Teddy at ringside. Riley hits some clotheslines and tries a spinebuster but Cesaro counters by grabbing his ear and flooring him with a European uppercut. The Gotch Style Neutralizer finishes. Post-match, Aksana tells Teddy they’re just friends but Antonio is her lover. 5/10 Here is Cesaro’s first “official” SmackDown match; he should get over because his offense is unique and something the WWE Universe hasn’t seen before. Looking forward to see what direction they go with him when he is done with the initial squashes. And what the hell happened to Riley? He was the shit after he turned on The Miz and now doesn’t even get music, much less an entrance.
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez): This match was booked by Eve Torres along with the main event as a result of the opening match’s schmozz. Del Rio traps Orton in the corner but Randy comes right back with lefts and rights; Del Rio fires back as well and they go back and forth until Orton floors him and stomps away and hits an under-the-ropes hangman, for two. Del Rio takes over hotshotting Orton’s arm off the top rope; he works the arm over and entangles it in the ropes. Ricardo adds some help from the floor while the referee is distracted. Del Rio improvises a hammerlock powerslam and then goes to the keylock armbar. Orton fights back and hits clotheslines and the powerslam; he sells the work as Del Rio rolls to the apron. He tries the Viper DDT but Del Rio counters and hits the step-up enziguri, which nets two. Orton sneaks in the stretch backbreaker. Alberto “creates space” with a kick to the arm followed by the Backstabber arm breaker; the cross-arm breaker is countered and Orton hits the Viper DDT off the second ropes. Ricardo heads to the rope once he notices Orton coiling for the RKO. Rodriguez leaps off the top… right into an RKO! The referee calls for the bell I guess to DQ Del Rio. Post-match, Alberto rams Orton’s shoulder into the post and cross-arm breakers him. 2.5/10 Boring match, as Del Rio’s offense consists of armbars; there was a good back-and-forth feel to this but it still did nothing for me. Del Rio’s character’s strategy is sound and makes sense; it’s just very unentertaining sometimes.
R-Truth (w/Kofi Kingston & Little Jimmy) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler): Swagger smothers him in the corner and whips him cross-corner; Truth tips-over and nails a falling hiptoss. Truth hits the teardrop legdrop (breakdance legdrop) and gets one. A.W. and his crew (which now includes Mason Ryan) watch on a monitor in the back. Swagger takes back over, countering a wheelbarrow bulldog into a suplex, and then gets a two count. Swagger and Ziggler have earned a tag title shot at the Over the Limit PPV. The Swagger double armlock follows; Truth fights out and drops a DDT. Jack misses a running splash in the corner and Truth goes into comeback mode, which for every WWE Superstar, begins with a series of clotheslines. He snags a reverse body scissors cradle (for two) and then a right hand. Swagger reverses a whip, which is never smart with Truth, and he hits the Lie Detector. Dolph pulls Truth to the floor breaking up the pinfall. They get into a fracas on the floor and Kingston leaps off the steel steps with a flying clothesline to take him out. Swagger joins them and runs over Truth with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Truth catches Swagger reentering; the referee pulls him back (in the ropes) and Kofi BLATANTLY CHEATS and nails a Trouble in Paradise from the floor. Swagger recoils into the ring right into the Little Jimmy for the pinfall. 6/10 Fun match where the outside interference did not take away from the match but figured into the conclusion, which is good to add fuel for the PPV tag title match.
Santino Marella & Zack Ryder vs. Darren Young & Titus O’Neil: A cut-in promo has Santino and Ryder playfully arguing over their team name. I prefer Ryder’s “Team Co-Bro”. Young and O’Neil have matching trunks on (powder blue). Santino and O’Neil start; Marella (as only Santino can) compares heights and decides to grab a side headlock to start. Titus fires him off and shoulderblocks him and then slams him. Young tags and Santino splits on him but he stops before Marella can capitalize and hits a neckbreaker. Young drops some elbows and a hits a backdrop suplex; O’Neil tags and suplex splashes Young onto Santino. I’ll give them credit, they are expanding their tandem offense, which is good as they rebuild the division; the matching ring gear is also a plus. I miss the days of matching ring gear. I think the last team to do that was Carlito and Primo, and now he and Epico also have them. Titus hits some forearms and Young drops a leg; he clamps Santino in a chinlock. He breaks it up with a split-legged stunner and tags in Ryder. Zack rushes in and hits some lunging forearms and boots O’Neil to the floor. Ryder hits Darren Young with the Broski Boot but gets two. He looks for the Rough Ryder but O’Neil grabs his ankle which allows Young to clobber him with a clothesline. Santino chases Titus around the ringside area with the Cobra but Young clotheslines him. Ryder nails O’Neil with a baseball slide and joins the fray. He tosses the legal Darren Young back into the ring and starts a corner ten punch; Young slips under his legs and knocks him onto the back of his head. O’Neil recovers and tags; they hit a Demolition Decapitation and that gets the pinfall. Post-match, O’Neil gives the BELT GESTURE (I like it) and they ask Lillian Garcia to announce them as winners again. O’Neil says they will are future tag champions; Young says they will get “millions of dollars” and they break into a silly dance about it. 6/10 These two are becoming an entertaining tag team; see what happens when you stick a few toiling midcarders together and let them grow as a team… I think A.W. should pair Mason Ryan and Ezekiel Jackson together as well as a muscly enforcer team since he already has Ryan in his employ and Jackson is a jobber. Both guys may have “limited” offense, much like Young and O’Neil, but when they can tag in and out and not blow up the entire arsenal in five minutes, and then you have something. Not to mention some of the biggest singles stars in WWE history came out of longtime tag teams.
Matt Striker talks to Damien Sandow he eloquently makes fun of “Matthew” for being a subpar educator and calls himself as the “bright beam of enlightenment that will serve as the avenging sword of taste and decency”. You’re welcome.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. Hunico (w/Camacho): Wow, Hunico gets an entrance instead of just waiting on the floor post-dance. Hunico explains Hunico means extraordinary. They both charge into the ring and Camacho nails Clay from behind and they get the Funkasaurus down; a Horseman Stomp follows and they wishbone his legs. Referee Scott Armstrong gets Camacho out of the ring so the match can begin as Brodus grabs the ropes and begins to smile and jiggle as he erects himself. The bell rings and Clay no-sells Hunico and hits the rhino head-butt; he pounds on Hunico in the corner and backdrops him. Camacho hops up on the apron but a charging rhino head-butt puts him back down. The Schuplex and big splash follows for the win. 3/10 This was another Clay squash with a side of mustard (from the pre-match attack); it didn’t last as Hunico fell in about a minute despite the advantage.
The Raw Rebound is all about Triple H, Brock Lesnar, broken arms, and Paul Heyman.
Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho: This is the other match set up, per Eve Torres via Twitter, because of the mêlée at the top of the show. Sheamus starts off pounding Jericho all around the ring until Chris gets a boot up; Sheamus shrugs it off and continues the beating. Jericho takes over with forearms but misses a corner splash and propels onto the apron; Sheamus meets him there with the ten count O’Clubbering and shoulderblocks him off face-first into the ring barricade. Back from commercial, Sheamus hits the slingshot Battering Ram for a nearfall. He drops his head for a backdrop and Jericho kicks the bad shoulder; Sheamus tumbles onto the apron where Chris springboard dropkicks him off and lands right onto his bad shoulder. Jericho tosses the shoulder into the ringpost; back in the ring, he works over the arm and slaps on a cross-face chicken wing. Sheamus fights back but runs right into another dropkick; he looks for the Lionsault but Sheamus moves (Jericho landed on his feet) and peppers him with Irish Hammers. A shoulderblock in the corner and kneelift follow; Jericho counters a powerslam into a Walls of Jericho attempt but Sheamus powers him off. He tries the Irish Curse but Jericho elbows free and charges right into a Finlay Roll… which Jericho also slips out of and finally lassos him in the Walls of Jericho. Sheamus, who could reach the ropes at any time, struggles and then grabs the ropes. Jericho charges and gets backdropped to the floor where Alberto Del Rio shows up and tosses him into the steps. The referee disqualifies Sheamus and Del Rio runs in and slaps on the cross-arm breaker on the bad shoulder. Post-match, Randy Orton shows up and pounds on Del Rio; Sheamus angrily tosses Orton aside because he wants Del Rio all to himself. They get into an agreement about it as Jericho sneaks in and delivers a receipt to Del Rio in the form of a Codebreaker… and then runs away after the babyfaces notice him. Del Rio gets up so Orton hits an RKO… he still gets up so a Brogue Kick puts him on his back again and the show ends with Sheamus and Orton staring each other down. 4.5/10 I did not think that would end cleanly so I was expecting that; poor Del Rio became the piñata. The match itself was very usual of a lazy Jericho match, nothing special here.
OVERALL 5/10 This was not great but not awful either; actually the definition of average. There were some good stuff and some poor stuff. The Bryan/AJ storyline is going somewhere, where that is I have no idea. I wonder if it will lead to her assisting him win a world title down the line. The beat part of this show was the tag division stuff; I think that it could really help half of the roster get over, get on television, and get better in the ring. It’s worked in the past for Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, so it could work for someone like Kofi Kingston, too.
By Marc Elusive, on May 10th, 2012  Commentators: Scott Stanford, Josh Matthews & Matt Striker
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
Ezekiel Jackson vs. Drew McIntyre: Ezekiel with hair and no goatee is weird to see; Drew gets in with his full entrance tonight. Jackson uses his power in the outset and shoves Drew into the corner; McIntyre comes back with a boot and grabs a side headlock. Jackson reverses but Drew comes back with an elbow to the face. Drew counters a backdrop with a boot but Jackson makes a quick comeback with a pair of shoulder tackles, which finally frustrates McIntyre enough to charge, and finally Jackson gets that backdrop. Jackson clubs away; he tosses Drew cross-corner but meets an elbow on the charge. McIntyre heads to the second rope for a European forearm to the back of Jackson’s head to floor the big guy and gets a two count. Drew clamps on a double-arm chinlock. Jackson powers up but Drew nails him to maintain control in the corner and hits a short-clothesline out of the corner. Ezekiel reverses a whip into the corner; Drew springs onto the second rope for another forearm move but Jackson meets him with a Vader standing splash on his way down. Jackson hits a pair of running clotheslines in the corner followed by a reveres splash. Like an idiot, he tries the Torture Rack in the corner so Drew immediately grabs the ropes and fires back with a huge boot. The Future-Shock DDT connects and gets McIntyre the victory. 3.5/10 Kept short like all Ezekiel Jackson matches; it also helped Drew from settling into some of his bad habits as well, such as chinlocks. The match still was pretty poor but at least Drew got the win.
Here is your winner… Drew McIntyre @ about 7:00 via Future-Shock DDT pinfall.
Alicia Fox vs. Natalya Neidhart: They give Alicia credit for JTG’s new look over on NXT. They lock up and Nattie works the arm so Fox uses cartwheels; Nattie copies her uncle and escapes as well with a nip-up like move. They get into a SLAP FEST and Natalya tries to run away; Alicia catches her and drags her back in. She tires a big boot in the corner but Nattie moves and Alicia gets her leg caught up in the buckles and Neidhart takes her down. She chokes her in the ropes and adds some stomps; Nattie tries a suplex but an Alicia small package gets two. Nattie slaps on an abdominal stretch with leg grab; Fox escapes with an armdrag. She charges with a clothesline but Fox pulls out the old Matrix Move to avoid and snatches her in a handspring head scissors. She hits the springboard reverse elbow and a Northern Lights suplex but gets two. She tries the scissors kicks but Nattie catches her and applies the Sharpshooter to a decent pop. Alicia taps out and NATTIE wins a match! 3/10 I like Nattie so I’m glad she finally won something; the Sharpshooter will always elicit a pop and does here (Bret Hart respect).
Here is your winner… Natalya @ around 5:50 via Sharpshooter submission.
Tyson Kidd vs. Hunico (w/Camacho): Kidd uses a fireman’s carry right at the bell and gives a clean break as the fans chant “USA”. Hunico tosses Kidd into the corner but he fires back with a second rope flying head scissors. Kidd charges, Hunico tries a hiptoss but Kidd bounces off the ropes mid-move and repels backwards into an armdrag takedown and Hunico is on the floor. He looks to leap off the apron but Camacho distracts allowing Hunico to clip his leg from the floor and Kidd splats on the apron. Back in the ring Hunico hits a Hilo and stamps in the corner; Camacho adds a cheapshot. Hunico utilizes a reverse Falcon Arrow and applies a chinlock. Kidd fights free but Hunico maintains his advantage and hits a flipping suplex move, for two, followed by a butterfly backbreaker, also for two. Hunico slows it down with a reverse elbow for two but then mistakenly speeds it up and Tyson is able to snag an armdrag off the ropes and a Hart Attack style clothesline causing a double KO. Kidd retreats to the corner where Hunico charges; it appears that they may have botched something, because I cannot tell what happened when they collided, Kidd goes down. Hunico whips him cross-corner but Tyson backdrops him face-first into the top turnbuckle. Kidd kicks the back of his head and follows up with a spin kick and a running low dropkick, which gets him two. Hunico reverses a whip but Kidd hangs onto the ropes and backflips off a dropkick, propelling himself onto the apron for a springboard elbow drop, for two (that was his finish when he first entered the WWE). He goes for the Sharpshooter, which would be cool; two Sharpshooter submissions on one show, but alas, Hunico counters. Kidd backdrops him to the floor where Camacho comes to help; Kidd hits a topé but Hunico sacrifices his buddy and Camacho takes the blow. Hunico seizes the advantage with a neckbreaker on the floor and all three are down. IT LOOKS LIKE A CAR CRASH! Hunico gets Kidd into the ring and heads to the top for a senton bomb; Kidd gets the knees up and slaps the Sharpshooter on Summerslam ’91 style but Hunico makes the ropes. Hunico winds up between the ropes so Kidd tries a slingshot guillotine legdrop onto the apron but misses; Kidd recovers and tries a slingshot reverse victory roll but Hunico twists it into that Olympic Slam finisher of his and gets the three count. 7/10 Excellent match; this had the added bonus of both guys at the exact same place in the WWE pecking order, so I had no idea who was going to win. Hunico gets the win so he’s one step above Kidd now on the jobber scale.
Here is your winner… Hunico @ about 9:15 via Barrio Slam pinfall.
The Raw rebound is all Brock Lesnar beating up Triple H, breaking his arm, and quitting the WWE through Paul Heyman.
Santino Marella & Zack Ryder vs. Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks: We could call the babyfaces “Team YouTube”. Reks and Hawkins were fired from the WWE for kidnapping Matt Striker on NXT but were rehired by John Laurinaitis as his NXT security team. One thing I like about the Laurinaitis character is that he extends out to all of the shows and all of the Superstars, main eventer or jobber, and not just appearing for the main angle of the show. Reks and Marella start off and lock up; Reks tosses him around and clotheslines him a lot because he’s a Demolition Man; Santino keeps popping right up because he’s Santino. Reks hits him with an atomic drop allowing Marella to oversell like only he can and scream like a girl in pain; he retreats to the corner to tag in Ryder. Hawkins receives a tag as well. Ryder grabs an armlock but Hawkins reverses but gets arm dragged. They share a fist punch out of mutual respect and a nod to their long history as the Major Brothers and then the Edgeheads. Nice touch. Hawkins clamps on a headlock and they go through a “these guys know each other so well” sequence where they, trade armbars, run the ropes with leapfrogs, and finally climaxes with a double dropkick attempt. The fans crowd cheers in approval; Ryder tries another handshake but gets SLAPPED! Ryder aggressively takes him down and pounds away. He tosses Curt into the corner and short-clotheslines him. Santino gets a tag and he hits a nice float-over snap-suplex into a front facelock and segues into an arm wringer. The guy CAN wrestle when he is allowed to. Ryder tags and they quick tag on Hawkins, working the arm. Curt tries to take over but Santino backdrops him and clotheslines him to the floor; Reks charges but gets low bridged to the floor as well. Ryder wipes them both out with a somersault pescado. Marella thinks about a highspot but realizes what he’s attempting and tells Ryder he’s too scared. Back from commercial, Marella gets a nearfall; he continues to work the arm. Hawkins finally takes over and rams Santino into the corner. Reks tags and boots and clotheslines abound. He applies a chinlock but Santino frees himself with the split-legged stunner. Ryder tags and hits forearms and clotheslines. The Broski Boot connects to Reks but he counters the Rough Ryder, Hawkins distracts, and Tyler nails Zack from behind. Hawkins adds a straight right hand from the floor and it gets two. They quick tag on Ryder and Hawkins applies a chinlock. Ryder frees himself but a clothesline prevents a tag; Reks tags and hits a knee drop. He chokes Zack in the ropes and bodyslams him. Reks returns and slaps on a front facelock; the babyfaces try to make an exchange but Marella falls over the top. Ryder sneaks in a sunset flip but the blind tag was made and Hawkins gets another chinlock. Curt misses a charge but comes right back with a Pelé Kick, which nets two. Reks tags back in and stamps into an arm trap chinlock. Reks hits a running powerslam for two. Ryder finally “creates space” by clotheslining Hawkins to the floor and finally tags in Santino. He lays waste to Hawkins with armdrags and bodyslams. Marella drops his head for a backdrop and Hawkins kicks him and immediately tags in Reks, which is a clever strategy you do not see often, since he was tired, get the fresh man in. Santino no-sells the tag and splits into a hiptoss on Tyler seguing into the Salute head-butt. A float-over suplex gets two and draws Hawkins in; Ryder wipes him out with the Rough Ryder and Santino brings out the Cobra. It strikes Reks and Santino gets the pinfall. 6.5/10 I enjoyed this main event; there were nods to pasts in this match, which I always love. Hawkins and Ryder are old friends and work well together; Reks and Hawkins are a good team and I hope they get added to the tag mix on Raw or SmackDown soon; it probably would have been good for them to get a win here, though.
Here are your winners… Santino Marella and Zack Ryder @ about 11:15 (broadcast) via Cobra strike pinfall.
OVERALL 6/10 Two good matches and two crappy matches; I’ll take that over what the WWE had been churning out on this show over the past few weeks. FOUR matches too, which is an added bonus.
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By Marc Elusive, on May 8th, 2012  Live from Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
John Laurinaitis comes out to open the show; he is the authority and undisputed leader of the WWE and no one will usurp that authority, including John Cena. Last week Cena insulted him and he lost his temper and no one can withstand his rage. Laurinaitis promises to finish the job that Brock Lesnar started. He sells his viciousness and says that he got no repercussions from the WWE Board of Directors because he is tough and fair. Cena is not there this week so he can recover from the injury but he will be live via satellite and he will apologize for making fun of Laurinaitis’ raspy voice. He also has the entire roster on notice to not make fun of his voice; Laurinaitis admits his voice sounds the way it does because of an injury he sustained, in Japan, from “Dr. Death” Steve Williams. He shows pictures of himself in Japan and calls himself Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and The Rock all rolled into one. He calls this the biggest match in WWE history and concludes with “may God have mercy on John Cena”. Of course, CM Punk has to interrupt this. He says that Johnny still has no idea what the fans really want. Punk begins with the one thing the WWE Universe does not want to see… John Laurinaitis. Punk feels that this entire thing is because Brock Lesnar couldn’t get the job done and he was embarrassed… and the reason he went to Japan is because no one in America would pay a dime to see him. Punk says he will beat Daniel Bryan at the PPV and then will watch Cena beat Laurinaitis. Johnny asks if he’s done; Punk adds, you’re stupid, you’re ugly and you have no friends… but he’s not done yet, you’re a giant toolbox. NOW he’s finished. Laurinaitis says if he weren’t training for Cena he’d pummel him into the ground. Laurinaitis and then books him in a match with Lord Tensai. Punk knew he would do that, use talented big men to do his job for them; he accepts the challenge, and will enjoy watching Cena twist Big Johnny into a pretzel at Over the Limit. 5.5/10 Not a bad opening; I like Big Johnny’s character, the only problem is that it pales in comparison to the Mr. McMahon character it appears to be mimicking. The difference is that Laurinaitis is trying to gain fame he never had; McMahon was trying to hold Steve Austin down.
Big Show is in the Gorilla Position when an angry John Laurinaitis storms through and yell at him for getting in his way. Johnny leaves and Show makes fun of Laurinaitis’ voice but turns to see Eve Torres staring at him. Show realizes what may happen and turns to leave for…
WWE Intercontinental Championship Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show: I can see how this is going to end. Show attacks at the bell and ponds Rhodes in the corner; big chops follow as does a big hiptoss. Show continues to dominate until Rhodes catches him with boots in the corner. The Disaster kick puts Show on his knees so Cody tries to stomp him; Show catches the boot and flips him backwards. The WMD is cocked so Cody slips under the ropes, grabs the IC title, and hightails it to the back. Show wins by countout. Post-match, Show grabs the mic and tries to convince him to come back to the ring but gets Eve Torres instead. She demands he apologize for making fun of Laurinaitis’ voice. He obliges and says “I’m sorry” but that’s not good enough for Eve; she tells him to apologize. He says “he apologizes for making fun of Laurinaitis’ voice” and he leaves. 2.5/10 The match was garbage but somehow I felt it was a tool to put over the Laurinaitis voice thing
Kofi Kingston (w/R-Truth & Little Jimmy) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger): This should be good, presuming that they are allowed to build something; they lock up and trade wristlocks as we see Primo, Epico , Rosa Mendes and A.W. watching and strategizing in the back. Kofi gets a nearfall and then tries a monkey flip in the corner but Dolph moves and Kingston bounces face-first off the buckles. Ziggler gets a two count; he hits a nice dropkick and gets two more. Dolph applies a chinlock and we see A.W.’s crew still watching when they are approached by Mason Ryan. Hmm. Kingston begins to fire back and hits clotheslines and the Boom Drop. Swagger pops up on the apron to cut off Trouble in Paradise; Ziggler looks for the Zigzag but Kofi grabs the ropes. He hits the S.O.S. and gets two. Kingston to the second rope but the referee is tied up with Vickie and Truth which allows Swagger to shove Kofi off the ropes; Dolph connects with the Zigzag and pins one half of the tag champions. 3.5/10 There was WAY too much going on there for this match to get going; the A.W. stuff is interesting as he is trying to build a heel manager stable.
John Cena joins via satellite and is interviewed by Michael Cole; Cena says there is no structural damage to the arm but the doctors say that he should not compete at the Over the Limit. Cena assures that he will compete. Cena admits that the Board of Directors called him and he told them not to take any actions against John Laurinaitis until after the Over the Limit PPV. Cole thinks that Cena is scared but John is scared… that Laurinaitis will injure himself getting into the ring at Over the Limit. Cena promises to kick Big Johnny’s ass. 2/10 The usual “I will overcome” promo from Cena.
Layla & Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya & Maxine: Beth Phoenix has joined for commentary. Layla starts with Maxine and Layla takes her head off with clotheslines; Nattie comes in but Kelly takes her out. Maxine takes advantage and whiplashes her back down. She tries a hiptoss but Layla twirls her into a cradle move for two. The Lay Out ends Maxine shortly after. 1.5/10 Kelly and Nattie didn’t get legally involved so why even bother having that as a tag match? Just make it a singles squash match.
Sheamus & Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho & Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez): Jericho is sort of the forgotten one here since he is not competing for a title and has no immediate storyline. Sheamus still has the shoulder taped as Orton and Del Rio kick the match off; Orton steamrolls him with a shoulderblock. Alberto floats-over in the corner and tries a hiplock but Orton clotheslines him. Del Rio sneaks in a kick and pound Orton down and tags in Jericho. He nails Orton in the corner and whip him cross-corner but Orton explodes with a clothesline. Randy stomps the fingers and uses the bootlace eye rake and brings in Sheamus. He pounds Jericho down and hits a reverse elbow. Jericho catches him with a short boot and tries another float-over in the opposite corner but Sheamus catches him and boots him in the gut. He tosses him onto the apron for some O’Clubbering. Del Rio tries to clothesline him but Sheamus wipes him too. He looks for the Shamrock Powerslam but Jericho slips free and tosses his injured shoulder into the post, twice. Sheamus tumbles to the floor where Del Rio is waiting with a kick. Back from break, Jericho has a chinlock/armlock on Sheamus’ bad shoulder. Sheamus breaks and rams Jericho in the corner and levels him with a clothesline. Orton receives the hot tag and takes out Del Rio with clotheslines and the short powerslam; the Viper DDT follows. He looks for the RKO but Jericho interferes… and eats a powerslam. Ricardo hops up on the apron (for some reason) and Del Rio hits the step-up enziguri. Alberto gets two. The heels take over on Orton now and Jericho stomps him in the corner as Del Rio adds some whiplash moves with his arm between the ropes. Michael Cole mentions a long history between Orton and Jericho but no mention of Randy’s punt kick that took Chris out of the WWE for a year until his return a few months ago. Randy fires back with a dropkick but Jericho, who is cleverly positioned between him and Sheamus, breaks the tag up with a basement dropkick. He drops Orton with a backdrop suplex and applies a chinlock. Jericho tries a slam but Orton slithers into a schoolboy for two; Jericho takes back over with another enziguri. Alberto tags in and applies another armbar. He hits the Backstabber arm breaker; he tries for the cross-arm breaker (shouting “destiny” before applying) but Orton slithers free and hits a stretch backbreaker. Sheamus tags in (as does Jericho) but Irish Hammers are smiling as does a high knee. He goes for the Celtic Cross but the shoulder gives out and Jericho swings into the Walls of Jericho but Sheamus powers free. He hits the Irish Curse but Del Rio breaks up the pinfall with a dropkick square on the injured shoulder. Orton comes in and strikes Del Rio with an RKO. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick on Jericho but he ducks and he accidentally nails Orton. That was an interesting turn of events that rarely occurs. Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker and gets the pinfall. Post-match, Sheamus tries to help Orton but eats an RKO. Well, now they’re even. 8/10 Great tag match with an interesting twist for the ending with the Sheamus misfire and Jericho getting the pinfall (on the World champion). I don’t think this will lead to a heel turn or anything; this just fits Orton’s character.
John Laurinaitis is with Eve Torres and they discuss Big Show’s “insincere” apology. Eve leaves to talk to Show as Chris Jericho, Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton wander in to plead their respective cases for who gets the next title shot at Sheamus. They get into a huge fight in Laurinaitis’ office and Sheamus joins the fray. Sheamus and Orton get into an argument so Laurinaitis makes the World title match at Over the Limit a fatal four-way.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. The Miz: Brodus tells us all to call our mommas for Mother’s Day on Sunday; Miz says “really” a lot and complains about facing Clay over fighting for the World title. Miz calls him King Hippo (which is awesome); Miz tells Clay to call his momma and to tell her that he’s awesome. This is a test to see where Miz stands now. Miz gets a few shots in but then gets floored by Brodus and slips to the floor where Cameron and Naomi laugh at him. Miz begins to eyeball them enraging Clay to chase after him. Miz lowers the boom as Brodus reenters the ring; Miz stomps away and hits a running boot. He catches him with the Vintage Clothesline and hits a top-rope axe handle. Miz settles into a chinlock and Clay piggybacks him into the corner. Miz fires right back with a Dangerous DDT for two. He continues to remain on top, including cutting off a comeback with a low dropkick and a high knee; he returns to the chinlock. Brodus piggybacks him again but this time turns it into a side suplex. Miz charges but runs into the rhino head-butt; he charges Miz in the corner but meets a boot. Miz tries a second-rope move but gets caught in the Schuplex. The big splash immediately finishes as Clay defeats a former WWE Champion. 4.5/10 This match was actually pretty decent; Clay gets a huge win over a (former) major player in the WWE. Miz worked a sound strategy; the only alarming thing here is Clay hit two moves and pinned him clean.
Highlights of Brock Lesnar beating Triple H down and then we see stills of HHH at WWE Board meetings with a mechanical arm brace on. Lesnar’s music hits and Paul Heyman comes out. Ah, it is good to see Paul in the WWE. He gets a meek “ECW” chant. Nice consistency by the WWE as Heyman brought Lesnar into the WWE initially (although he did turn on him). Heyman says the WWE has changed since ten years ago when he first brought Lesnar to the WWE. Heyman says that the “verbal contract” that Lesnar and John Laurinaitis discussed was agreed to; he adds that Lesnar feels betrayed by the fans. He runs through all of his credentials and accolades. He reads Brock’s official statement. It basically rips corporate BS and politics and says that’s why he left the first time. He does not regret beating John Cena and Triple H up. He continues that HHH lasted almost an hour in a cell with the Undertaker but couldn’t last a minute in a fight with Lesnar. HHH broke a contract with the WWE so he broke his arm; Lesnar does not care about the fans or the corporate suits in the WWE. He is never coming back because he quits. 4.5/10 It was nice to see Paul in the WWE. Interesting development with the Lesnar situation.
Big Show is goofing around with the actors from Common Law and they are upset he had to grovel to Eve Torres. They make fun of John Laurinaitis’ voice and Big Show laughs… and turns around to see Eve again.
CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai & Daniel Bryan (w/Sakamoto) handicap match: John Laurinaitis appears during Punk’s entrance and books the handicap match. Tensai starts and dominates with a standing splash and elbow drops. He slams him and drops an elbow; Bryan enters and kicks away. Punk reverse rolls him up and they trade punches. The double crossbody spot follows and Tensai tags. He hits the delayed butterfly suplex and punches him with elbows to the back of the head. They tumble to the floor where Tensai rams Punk’s back into the post. Tensai applies a trapezius hold. Punk stamps the feet to break the hold but Tensai maintains control and hits a senton. Bryan tags and heads to the top but misses the Superfly Splash. Punk tries to prevent Bryan from tagging Tensai and does so via slingshot. Punk mounts a comeback with a leg lariat and neckbreaker; he hits the running knee/bulldog combo. He tries the GTS and tags in Tensai who blindsides Punk. He misses a locomotive in the corner and Punk kicks Tensai’s head off. Punk to the top but Sakamoto hops up on the apron; Bryan trips him off the top and Tensai lands a standing Baldo Bomb. The green mist aided claw into the STO ends the match as Tensai gets another pinfall win over another established main eventer. Post-match, Bryan celebrates and then applies the Yes Lock in the middle of the ring and holds it on for a while. 5/10 Not bad but it keeps Tensai strong and builds to the Punk/Bryan match, which should be really good.
OVERALL 3.5/10 It was a nothing special show this week storyline-wise save for a surprise appearance from Paul Heyman. As for the wrestling portion, it was pedestrian, the tag match was really good but all it did was lead to a fatal four-way match at Over the Limit which shows the WWE’s all of a sudden lack of confidence in Alberto Del Rio; it is surprising considering he won the Royal Rumble a few years ago.
By Marc Elusive, on May 5th, 2012  From the Huntington Center in Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews & Booker T
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
Before the opening contest Sheamus comes out to do what he loves: fight. He says Daniel Bryan almost tore his arm out of the socket on Sunday; Bryan challenged him tonight and he gave a one word answer “yes”. He leads a long “Yes! Yes! Yes!” chant which draws Bryan out to the ring for their match. Sheamus “yeses” him all of the way down the aisle.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan: Sheamus starts with a side headlock and then steamrolls him with his shoulder. Bryan tries to control the injured arm but Sheamus breaks the hold but gets tossed into the ropes; Bryan wrests him down with a drop-toehold and looks to work the arm again. This enrages Sheamus and he pops him right in the face with a big roundhouse right. He lowers his head for a backdrop and that is all Bryan needed to land a single-arm DDT. Sheamus sells the arm injury as Bryan kicks in the corner until Scott Armstrong backs him away. When, oh when, will Bryan bust out the “I HAVE ‘TILL FIVE!” in the WWE? Dr. Bryan dissects the arm with a hammerlock amplified with knee strikes; he segues into a hammerlock stump-puller and then some Euro uppercuts. Sheamus fires back with right hands as Bryan tries to grasp the arm; he unleashes Irish Fury in the corner and then adds a corner shoulderblock and a kneelift. He clotheslines Bryan to the floor but Armstrong prevents him from going out after him which is odd. Oh, never mind. Here’s Ricardo Rodriguez (in his tux) LEAPING off the top rope, from seemingly out of nowhere, with a friggin’ crossbody block to take out Sheamus. This draws a DQ for Bryan and possibly the first time I’ve ever seen an interference DQ ending where someone leaps off the top with a crossbody block. Post-match, Alberto Del Rio appears and they double up on the arm; Del Rio adds a cross-arm breaker to the bad arm to further the damage. He releases it, so Bryan seizes the opportunity and slaps on the Yes Lock. Sheamus leaves as a minor tiff erupts between Bryan and Del Rio. Bryan’s “I had him right where I wants him!” is hilarious. 6/10 Short but entertaining but more of a storyline tool since Bryan is moving up the title notch to CM Punk and the WWE title at Over the Limit, I guess, the WWE is back on board with the Sheamus/Del Rio World title story. I am mixed on that matchup since Del Rio is either really entertaining in the ring, or a complete bore, depending on opponent; Sheamus is a worthy opponent in the in-ring skills department, so I am tilting towards “entertaining” not as entertaining as the Sheamus/Bryan series (minus WrestleMania XXVIII) but still should be good.
In the trainer’s room, Sheamus is not being very forthcoming to the doctor trying to check his injured shoulder.
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (w/Little Jimmy) vs. Hunico & Camacho: Okay, this team needs a name, how about “Air Jimmy” or “Jimmy Boom”; they could go with a classic “Reggae and Rap Connection” team name as well. Camacho and Hunico need a team name as well. Before the match begins, Primo, Epico and Rosa Mendes come out (with music) flanked by super-agent A.W. (Abraham Washington) to scout the opposition. No mention is made of Epico, Primo and Hunico’s brief alliance back when Sin Cara was botching around; it is acknowledged that A.W. has signed the Colón team as clients, which the WWE is sorely in need of, heel managers. Truth starts with Hunico who SLAPS Little Jimmy! Truth reacts accordingly and spears Hunico on his ass. Truth hits a lunging hiptoss and tags in Kofi who leaps off the second rope with a forearm, from a Truth Irish whip. Kofi feigns a leapfrog but Hunico is still able to backdrop him onto the apron, where Camacho distracts, which allows Hunico to forearm him to the floor. Michael Cole informs us that A.W. stands for “All Worlds” so I guess “Abraham Washington” is no more. An angry Truth distracts the referee as Camacho LEVELS Kofi with a clothesline; back in the ring, Hunico adds a Hilo and gets two. Camacho enters and clubs Kingston down like the Warlord (minus the discussion with the bicep) and then hits a delayed back suplex and drops a high-angle legdrop, for two. Hunico tags in with a gunshot dropkick for two; he clamps on a chinlock. Kingston fights back on both of them and manages an armdrag off a backdrop, which I’ve never seen before. Kofi tries a tag but Hunico cuts it off; he goes to knock Truth off the apron but he blocks. Kingston nails a monkey flip and finally tags in Truth. Camacho gets a tag but Truth is all fired up and hits clotheslines and the Lie Detector. Truth goes for a pinfall but smartly rescinds when he sees Hunico approaching; Kingston comes in and Truth backdrops Kofi into a hurracanrana on Hunico, sending him to the floor. That was a nice tandem move; I heard someone on one of the websites, or Twitter mention that the WWE should give Arn Anderson, Hall of Fame tag wrestler (the Brain Busters were always a favorite of mine), in total control of the tag division, storylines, teams, champions, everything and let him run with it. I totally agree with that. Somehow Kofi manages to tumble to the floor as well (the cameraman missed it); Truth ends Camacho with the Little Jimmy shortly after for the pinfall. Post-match, A.W. holds his clients back from bum rushing the ring. 5.5/10 The presence of the Colóns here scouting warms my cockles (or my inner-costal cockles) proving there may be hope for the division yet and it also keeps them from disappearing into the background post-title loss; the WWE has some talent that they can push as teams, just need to present them as teams, instead of presenting them like: “Here is Wrestler A and Wrestler B!” I also support the aforementioned “Arn Anderson Tag Plan” as well.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/Cameron & Naomi) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero): Clay announces Cameron and Naomi as the “Funkadactyls”. I’ll give Clay this; he REALLY is into this gimmick. Vickie interrupts the dance party to announce her clients. Brodus looked fired up for this match as opposed to his usual jovial attitude. The Funkasaurus nails Swagger immediately with a belly-to-belly suplex. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the giant boom box style radio logo on the back of Clay’s black doublet. Swagger goes to the legs, which gives him the advantage (for about three seconds)… until Brodus clotheslines him. Ziggler distracts and Swagger nails Clay with a shoulderblock to the guts, rebounding him off the ropes, and down and out to the floor. Dolph tries to leap off the steps onto him but Clay rhino head-butts him (allowing him to take a nasty bump on the floor). Back in the ring, Swagger catches the Funkasaurus coming in and pounds him down; Clay quickly fires up and catches him with the Schuplex. Mommas are called but Swagger retreats to the floor to break momentum and avoid the splash. Clay says “my bad” and laughs as Swagger and company retreat and take the zero. Clay wins via countout. Post-match, little kids dance with Brodus. 3.5/10 Not awful in terms of the in-ring but I enjoy Swagger and Ziggler and think they deserve to be treated more than jobbers here. I actually like Clay and his gimmick and think he could do something but the fans have taken to Dolph as an in-ring workaholic so having Clay squash him week after week may cause the masses to turn on him (exhibit A: Cena, John).
Highlights from Austin versus McMahon Lite from Raw are shown (full review, click here). Afterwards, Michael Cole announces (rather sarcastically) that John Laurinaitis has taken a “personal day” and will not be on the show. This little segment (and the Daniel Bryan/Jerry Lawler match from Raw) shows how far Cole has come from an annoying biased heel play-by-play announcer to an infinitely better tweener self-interest motivated style one… better, in that, people driven but self-interest in lieu of walking rigid heel/babyface lines are much more believable and genuine. Elsewhere in the back Bryan and Alberto Del Rio argue to Eve Torres about the earlier opening segment. Bryan is upset because Del Rio cost him his chance at revenge and demands another match with Sheamus. Eve, in her new “professional titty suit” and glasses, tells him that she calls the shots in Laurinaitis’ absence. She tells Bryan that she will make a decision after conferring with the doctors and kicks them all out of her office.
Derrick Bateman vs. Damien Sandow: Sandow is announced as the “self-professed intellectual savior of the masses” and comes to the ring to Handel’s Messiah; pre-match, Sandow begs our indulgence and says he’s here to help the masses. He says that tonight was supposed to be a glorious night. The ignorant masses “what” him so he thanks them for their “irrelevant opinion”. He calls Bateman a miscreant and will not lower himself to wrestle him. He calls him a simple-minded ignoramus and will not wrestle him for the benefit of the crowd. He concludes with a “thank you” and actually leaves. Bateman then grabs a mic and demands a match with someone, which proves fatal as Ryback comes out… 4/10 Nice debut for Sandow (and I mean that seriously); I’m sure he will wrestle soon but going the Dean Douglas route with him may prove fruitful, presuming that Shawn Michaels does not un-retire an screw him out of the Intercontinental Championship.
Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman: That may have been the quickest babyface to heel turn in recent memory (Bateman). I still don’t quite get Ryback’s gimmick other than he is Goldberg dressed like Rob Van Dam. They’ve added pyro and his (generic) theme has a name now, it’s called Meat (now available on iTunes!), I wonder if they will add piped-in “Ryyyy-Back” chants to it. Bateman gets more offense in than the unnamed jobbers but it is all no-sold and Ryback cruses him with a shoulderblock. The fans are hip and chant “Goldberg”. He presses Bateman and dusts off his old NXT finisher: the Over the Shoulder Bolder Holder (backpack stunner). He hits the Sheffield Lariat and ends with the running Torture Rack drop. 2/10 Well it’s good to see Ryback move up the food chain to actual contracted talent to squash; not so good for the lower midcard, who are probably still recovering from getting crushed by Brodus Clay for weeks.
“Apex Predator” Randy Orton & Big Show vs. Kane & Cody Rhodes: Good to see that IC belt back on Rhodes. Show looks awfully psyched for a former champion who just lost his title. I see we’re back to announcing Orton as the Apex Predator. The former Legacy stablemates start and Orton floors Rhodes with a shoulderblock; Cody utilizes a few leapfrogs to avoid repeat and tries a hiptoss, which is countered into a short-clothesline. Randy continues to dominate. Cody tries to retreat but is startled by Big Show minding his own business on the apron; Orton connects with a European uppercut, which is not to be confused with a Very European Uppercut. Show tags in and CHOPS Rhodes against the ropes and mushes him in the corner with some André the Giant style ass-rams; he slams him and tags Orton back in for a floating knee drop. He hits a nice dropkick and nets two. Randy glances at Kane on the apron which is all Cody needed to kick him and nail a gutter punch and tag in the Monster. Orton and Kane trade punches. Kane takes over with a kneelift and pounds Orton in the corner with punches and shoulderblocks; Randy gets a knee up to block a charge and tags in Show. He runs through Kane with a spear and then drags Rhodes into the ring he chops him in the ropes and then pummels Kane in the corner. Show drops his head for a backdrop and Kane nails a DDT. Back from break, Cody is working over the Giant with kicks and stomps; Kane tags and adds more of the same, plus his low dropkick. He applies a chinlock. Show slowly erects himself and then frees himself with a HUGE backdrop suplex. Double tags are made and Orton, the babyface-on-fire, of course, gets the better of it with a series of clotheslines and short-powerslam. He looks for the Viper DDT but Kane breaks it up and tags himself in; it turns out to be a bad move because Orton catches him coming in and nails the Viper DDT, which is a much better segue into that hold. Orton Vipers up but Kane pushes himself out of the RKO; Rhodes smartly low bridges the stumbling Orton and he tumbles to the floor. Kane looks to capitalize there by lawn-darting him into the ringpost; Randy still has the wherewithal to slither down Kane’s back and post him but Kane cushions the blow and boots Orton down. Back in the ring, Kane tags in Rhodes and they quick-tag on Orton. Cody tenaciously punches away and hits a beautiful standing dropkick. Kane returns and beats Orton in the corner; he tosses him cross-corner but Orton gets an elbow up and hits the stretch backbreaker, but since the heels had been working his back earlier in the heat segment, Orton suffers pain as well for a double KO. Kane recovers first and levels him with a clothesline and tags in Rhodes for a quick nearfall; he settles down into a chinlock. Orton fires back but Rhodes tries Cross Rhodes; Orton utilizes a backdrop as his choice for counter. Show gets a tag and backdrops Rhodes into the ionosphere. He goozles Cody prompting Kane to leap off the top with a diving clothesline to break it up; Orton slithers back in and hits Kane with an RKO. Rhodes recovers and posts Orton’s shoulder to rid the ring of him and then tries the Disaster Kick but Show chops him with a skillet. He cocks the WMD and knocks Cody out for the three count for the babyface team win. 7.5/10 Excellent tag match with two heat segments; the babyfaces win and that makes the crowd happy. I don’t mind Rhodes taking the pinfall because he has the IC title and he didn’t lose it; it also makes Rhodes look better when he (hopefully) defeats Show in their eventual rematch.
Matt Striker reports outside the trainer’s room regarding Sheamus’ condition; he storms out of the room, with his shoulder taped, and says that he is going to fight tonight.
Layla vs. Natalya: Nattie does not get an entrance; well at least she’s not farting anymore. Take what you can get at this point. Nattie wrests Layla down but she reverses into a hammerlock. Natalya uses a fireman’s carry to take her down but Layla comes back with a leg scissors. Natalya nips up and applauds herself. They battle over a wristlock and Nattie gets the short end there so she uses the old Davey Boy Smith handspring counter. She has finally had enough and punches her in the face and hits a roaring clothesline. Remember when Layla was William Regal’s ring escort? She applies an abdominal stretch and tries to segue into a powerslam but Layla counters into an armdrag. Layla hits the Lay Out (Rude Awakening) and lays out Nattie for the pinfall. 4/10 This was better than the average divas match but that may be all Natalya who has become the Tito Santana of the divas division.
We get a preview of John Cena on Syfy’s Dream Machines. Elsewhere, Eve Torres is with Aksana and Antonio Cesaro for their promotional shots. Eve continues to try to get them in a much sexier positions. She forces poor Teddy Long (with giant nametag) to rub oil all over Antonio’s back and chest. Long’s melon collie attitude made this entire segment. When we return from commercial, Alicia Fox is talking to Kaitlyn when AJ Lee approaches. Fox leaves and AJ tries to apologize for the slap last week. Kaitlyn says she felt betrayed by her but she knows that it wasn’t the real AJ. Kaitlyn then pushes her a little too far saying the Daniel Bryan pity-party has to stop and gets slapped on her full round ass.
The Raw Rebound focuses on the chaos involving Brock Lesnar and COO Triple H.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan: Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez have joined for some insightful commentary; Sheamus has his arm taped from the earlier attack. Bryan goes for the shoulder but Sheamus fends him off. He tries another approach and goes for the legs but Sheamus fights out of that too. He over aggressively charges in the corner and eats a drop-toehold into the buckles; Bryan lays in the kicks to the injured shoulder and Sheamus over-sells accordingly. Referee Scott Armstrong admonishes Bryan in the corner which triggers a brief comeback from Sheamus cut off by solid kicks (plus running dropkick) to the injured shoulder. Sheamus grabs him so he counters with a shoulder stunner; Bryan charges… right into a surprise one-armed tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (with the good arm) from Sheamus. He charges with a Brogue Kick but Daniel sees it coming and moves; Sheamus entangles himself in the ropes and tumbles to the apron. Bryan dropkicks his injured shoulder causing him to sail into the ring barricade. When we return from break, Bryan is leaping off the apron with a diving knee strike. He continues the punishment locking the bad shoulder in the ropes and stretching it. Bryan kicks the back of his head and Sheamus falls to the floor again where Bryan hammerlocks the arm and posts it. He tosses Sheamus back into the ring and heads to the top for a swandive head-butt to the bad shoulder, for a nearfall. The snarl on Bryan’s face is more Bryan Danielson than Daniel Bryan as he shows off his vicious side, that ROH fans knew was in there, to the WWE Universe as he lays in with the kicks and seated forearm strikes to the shoulder; he hammerlocks that injured shoulder and knees it then settles into a standing hammerlock; Del Rio has been silent during this entire encounter allowing the match to stand on its own merits and not overshadow it. Sheamus comes back, reversing a charge and posting Bryan’s shoulder in a bit of twisted irony. Sheamus collapses in the ring and holds the shoulder which helps Bryan establish himself further as a dangerous submission artist. He begins to mount his comeback with ten clubs in the ropes, twice; he brings Daniel back into the ring via suplex, for two. Sheamus charges in the corner but Bryan is still has the resources to get his knee up to block but then gets caught in the Irish Curse. Sheamus now turns to Bryan’s shoulder and knees it sans mercy and shaking out his bad shoulder all the while (nice continuity there). Speaking of continuity, Bryan creates space by hotshotting his arm off the top rope and then heads to the top for the missile dropkick (to the shoulder) for two. Bryan is perplexed and stamps in the ropes; he charges… right into an Irish Hammer, complete with flip over-sell. Sheamus looks for the Celtic Cross drawing Del Rio onto the apron to distract; Bryan looks for the Yes Lock but Sheamus counters tossing Daniel into Alberto causing Del Rio to fall into the ring. He quickly rolls out as Bryan scales the ropes again and leaps… RIGHT INTO A BROGUE KICK for three! Post-match, Del Rio is angry as Sheamus celebrates with the World title while still selling the arm and shoulder. 8.5/10 That was a main event; these two have crazy chemistry together. People may bitch that Bryan jobbed again but Sheamus is the World champion and he should defeat challengers cleanly.
OVERALL 8/10 Excellent show this week highlighted by two stellar main events. I love the directions SmackDown has gone in recent weeks, filtering the newer talent into the show slowly all the while keeping great wrestling matches at the top.
By Marc Elusive, on May 3rd, 2012  Commentators: Scott Stanford, Josh Matthews & Matt Striker
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… Diva’s Champion: Layla
Mason Ryan vs. Dolph Ziggler: Wow, what did I do to deserve this? Either they are stacking the show or Ziggler (and The Miz last week) have slid down the card. Dolph drapes his silver ring jacket all over Scott Stanford at ringside. Dolph starts off with a dropkick but Ryan presses him straight up in the air. Ziggler to the floor for a powder; Ryan grabs him on the apron and “brings him in the hard way”. Ryan continues to toss him around the ring, giving him a chance to oversell, like Curt Hennig. Ziggler tries to fight back but gets steamrolled with a shoulderblock and his throat stepped on; he hits a shoulderblock in the corner. Dolph kicks his knee and floors him to drop an elbow; he maintains his advantage and stomps away. Ziggler clamps on a front facelock; he adds a unique SHOW OFF twist, bridging while maintaining the hold, for added torque. Ryan begins to power free so Dolph continues to stay on top with boots and segues into a rear chinlock… with a HANDSTAND. Mason eventually powers up and launches Dolph off of him; he goes into his finishing sequence with clotheslines and boots. He charges in the corner but Dolph moves, Mason posts his shoulder, and Ziggler finishes with the Zigzag. 3.5/10 Well, it was short… but this match’s offense was one long chinlock but I think that is because of Ryan’s in-ring limitations versus Dolph’s ability on offense. Ziggler should win this match.
Here is your winner… Dolph Ziggler @ approx. 7:50 via Zigzag pinfall.
Zack Ryder vs. Michael McGillicutty: They lock up and McGillicutty takes Ryder down with a wastelock. They lock up again and this time McGillicutty powers him into the corner and tries a cheapshot but Ryder blocks and slugs back; he hits a running forearm but McGillicutty kicks his leg and levels him with a stiff clothesline. McGillicutty takes over with his thrilling array of stomps and bodyslams; he hits the ropes but Ryder avoids him with leapfrogs and flapjacks him. He clotheslines him to the floor and follows him out with a pescado. Back in the ring, McGillicutty catches Ryder reentering and neckbreakers him in the ropes. Back from commercial, McGillicutty has a chinlock on. Of course. Ryder frees himself but misses a dropkick; McGillicutty connects with his for a nearfall so he rakes his face. McGillicutty pounds on him within the ropes and gets a two count. A hammer-toss puts Ryder flat on his face; McGillicutty props him on the turnbuckles but makes the mistake of SLAPPING him. Are you serious, bro? Ryder hits a second rope dropkick. Ryder begins the comeback with clotheslines and a leaping forearm in the corner. Broski Boot! …gets two. McGillicutty counters the Rough Ryder and hits a clothesline to the back of the head. He tries a back suplex but Ryder flips out and stumbles into the corner; McGillicutty blind charges and meets a pair of knees. The Rough Ryder connects and gets the three count. 5.5/10 Pretty good match unfortunately the old boring Michael McGillicutty showed up this week; Ryder added his usual enthusiasm to the match, which helps a little; this may be Ryder’s first decisive victory since he won the US Title.
Here is your winner… Zack Ryder @ about 10:50 (broadcast) via Rough Ryder pinfall.
The entire arm breaking situation with Brock Lesnar and Triple H are shown.
Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal: Why does the WWE insist on carting Khali out there every week to torture me? The usual Khali beginning of a match occurs… Mahal tries some punches to no effect and Khali floors him with one blow. Khali then muscles him into the corner where he lays in the big chops. Mahal sells it like he was just hit with a frying pan or skillet or Mini Cooper or whatever silly metaphor they are using for Khali’s hands this week. Jinder tries to fend him off with his boot but gets clotheslined to the floor. Khali goes after him and gets hung off the top rope; back in Jinder knees him and Khali actually sells and stumbles into the ropes and down. Referee Justin King has to pull Mahal back but eventually lets him stick his knee in Khali’s back and throat in the ropes. Khali erects himself and Mahal eats a knife-edge chop. He whips him into the corner but misses a boot; Khali actually stumbles over the ropes and falls to his back, which is the most I’ve seen him sell for anyone (save for Randy Orton or John Cena) in months. Mahal does his best with the big carcass dropping rope-assisted knees. Back in the center of the ring, Mahal drops some elbows and Jinder gets two; he smartly works over the tree trunks and applies a seated leglock. Khali fights back but Mahal maintains his advantage. Mahal makes one fatal move by ascending the buckles and leaps… right into a goozle. Jinder tries to kick the knees but Khali punches him in the face. Jinder tenaciously goes after Khali but runs into a big boot; Khali fires up with clotheslines. The Punjabi Plunge ends the match and Khali brings his record over Mahal up to 243-0. 3.5/10 As far as Khali matches go (which should be graded on a curve of suck) this one was pretty good… but in the real world it still sucked.
Here is your winner… Great Khali @ about 8:40 via Punjabi Plunge pinfall.
The show concludes with highlights from Raw where John Cena’s next opponent is… John Laurinaitis.
OVERALL 3.5/10 When Khali is in the main event it NEVER bodes well for a passing grade and this one is no exception… not a good show at all this week, which is weird because it had Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder on it who are usually involved in, at least, something entertaining.
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By Marc Elusive, on April 30th, 2012  Live from the E. J. Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico… Diva’s Champion: Layla
The show opens with John Cena’s victory speech after he defeated Brock Lesnar from Extreme Rules then the show is opens as: “Monday Night Raw starring Brock Lesnar” with a picture of Lesnar with the Raw logo. John Laurinaitis comes out first and says that People Power has changed the WWE and the Universe should thank him; he also takes credit for bringing Brock Lesnar to the WWE who proved that Cena is a mortal. He introduces Lesnar. Brock says last night he brought the pain; Laurinaitis begins to discuss the “new face of the WWE” but they are interrupted by the COO, Triple H. HHH says the days of “holding up the WWE” are done such as the private jet, the limos, the raise and his name on the show; nobody is bigger than the WWE. Hunter says the only contract that he approved is legit; he says that Johnny went over his head with the “demands” from last week and he does not approve. Laurinaitis tries to reason with HHH but he rips up the contract in his (and Brock’s) face. Helmsley calls Lesnar a businessman. He adds that he wants him in the WWE and the Universe wants him as well, for matches, but he will do it under the terms of the original contract. Helmsley begins to talk about Brock leaving and “taking his ball and going home”. He gets a shot in on his loss to Cena. Laurinaitis tries to intervene but HHH dismisses him. Lesnar is seething here and he keeps focusing on Laurinaitis and then Helmsley. Laurinaitis keeps trying to say his piece but Helmsley shuts him up. Lesnar seizes the opportunity to take out HHH. He attacks him and beats him in the corner; HHH tries a comeback but Lesnar slips on the Kimura lock and the commentators think his arm is broken. He releases the hold as Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Big Show and Sheamus come to Hunter’s aid. Officials push Brock to the back as medics check on HHH who thinks his arm is broken. The babyface brigade helps the injured HHH to the back. 7/10 That was a good opening promo; I wonder if they will have Brock “end the career” of HHH allowing him to complete his backstage role and not have him get physically involved in storylines lest he feel like less of a man for not doing so.
Eve Torres comes out to announce a “Beat the Clock challenge” for the number one contender for the Over the Limit PPV.
Santino Marella vs. The Miz Beat the Clock challenge: Marella forward sweeps the leg and tries a nearfall; Miz takes him down and pounds away. Miz with a kneelift for another nearfall; Santino avoids a suplex and hits a shoulderblock. Miz comes right back with a running boot; they keep going for pinfalls, which makes sense in this type of match. Miz boots in the corner but misses a clotheslines and Santino gets a roll up; Miz fires right back with a Bronx Bomb and gets another quick nearfall. We are up to two minutes. The Vintage clothesline connects for Miz then he heads to the top for a double axe handle, for two. Miz hits forearms to the face and another two count follows; he goes to a chinlock, which is bad move for a match like this, Miz realizes and releases quickly but that triggers a Santino comeback with a back suplex. Miz charges into a Stungun and the Marella comeback begins with split-legged hiptoss and head-butt. He goes for the Cobra but misses, Miz with an O’Connor roll, for two; Marella reverses… for two! Santino then charges in the corner and meets a boot; Miz finishes in 4:18 with the Skull-Crushing Finale. 4/10 Miz sets the time in a spirited little match; unfortunately for him, the initial time to beat never makes it to the end.
WWE Divas Championship Layla vs. Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella triple threat: The Bellas argue at the bell so Layla dropkicks Nikki into Brie (who tumbles to the floor) and rolls Nikki up for three. 1/10 I wonder if Layla was rushed back too soon due to Beth Phoenix’s injury and cannot work long matches, but this is ridiculous.
We move right onto…
Big Show vs. Chris Jericho Beat the Clock challenge: The Miz’s time to beat is 4:18. Show charges and pounds on Jericho in the corner with chops and slams him for two. Show sells the urgency by running Jericho into the corner with a reverse avalanche but Chris submarines him to cut off the follow-up spear. Jericho stomps and tries a pinfall but gets pressed across the ring. He tries to come off the top but leaps into a big chop from Show drawing frying pan comparisons from Jerry Lawler. Show goes for a Vader Bomb but Jericho moves; he hits the Lionsault but lands awkwardly on his throat (on Show’s hands) and legit sells for a second before going for the nearfall. Chris tries the Walls of Jericho as we hit two minutes; Show counters the Walls attempt with a SMALL PACKAGE for a nearfall. Jericho walks into a goozle but Jericho takes his knee out and hits a Dangerous DDT; Chris yells at him to stay down but Show fires back with a Mac truck spear for two. Miz is watching intensely on a monitor in the back. Show loads the WMD and Jericho tries the Codebreaker but Show catches him mid-move so Jericho Benoits him to the floor (possibly looking for a countout) but Show won’t let that happen. They briefly brawl on the floor and Show hangs his leg on the barricade. Jericho beat referee Justin King’s ten count with one second left on the clock to, I believe, beat the clock and set 4:17 as the time but it’s left a bit confused. 4.5/10 Good match with the limitations of the time challenge but it works for Big Show matches keeps them short and keeps him moving fast.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/Cameron & Naomi) vs. JTG: Haven’t seen JTG in a while (even on WWE Superstars). He charges but gets pushed aside; JTG tries a boot to the gut bet gets killed with a clothesline. Clay slams him and drops an elbow; he tries again but JTG slips out and takes his leg out. Clay fires right back with the rhino head-butt and the Schuplex; the big splash finishes. Post-match, Clay grabs some kids from the crowd to dance with him and the Funkettes. 2/10 El squasho.
Highlights of a bloody Extreme Rules match with Brock Lesnar and John Cena which leads to highlights of Triple H getting his ass kicked at the top of the show are shown. In the back, Eve Torres peps John Laurinaitis up.
Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero) Beat the Clock challenge: It’s revealed that The Miz still has the time to beat at 4:18 as the prior confusion with Big Show and Chris Jericho is apparently solved. They lock up and Orton rams Swagger into the corner for a nearfall; Swagger come back with some shoulderblocks in the corner but Orton sneaks in that rollup move of his for another nearfall. Randy clotheslines him out of the corner but Swagger fires back with a Swagger Bomb for two. He tries the Dr. Bomb but Orton slithers over his back for the stretch backbreaker, for two. Swagger finally gets the match going his way with a submarine to the knee and a shoulderblock. Jack pounds in the corner until Orton fires back but gets nailed and lassoed in a double armlock, which is not a good stratagem for this match; realizing this, Swagger tries another Swagger Bomb but Orton recovers and boots him in the guts on the landing. Orton begins Comeback #2 (clothesline, clothesline, short-powerslam, Viper DDT). He takes FOREVER with his Viper up so Swagger is able to counter the RKO into an ankle lock. Orton rolls through sending Swagger into the buckles… RKO! Orton wins in 4:16. 4.5/10 The match stipulations neuters what the superstars can do, psychology and match building wise. For what it was it was a good match.
Just before the next match goes off wwe.com reports that, during the commercial break, Eve Torres fired Nikki Bella and Brie Bella, which sucks. I knew their contracts were up but they were actually becoming two of my favorite divas (even in the ring).
WWE Tag Team Championship Primo & Epico (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth: Well, I see that my complaints of these two talented, yet directionless, midcarders are a team again and getting a title shot. R-Truth holds the ropes open for Little Jimmy which is funny. Primo and Truth begin and Primo BOOTS LITTLE JIMMY! Truth is enraged and tackles him. Primo tries a leapfrog but Truth stops short, dances, and then clotheslines him to the floor. Truth leads a “what’s up” chant as we head to break. The match resumes with Truth getting a nearfall; Epico distracts Truth from the apron allowing Primo a clothesline. Jerry Lawler reports that Triple H’s arm is broken from the earlier attack by Brock Lesnar, meanwhile the match… the Colóns exchange a few times and double up on Truth in their corner; Truth fires up but Epico has the wherewithal to whip him into a beautiful Primo dropkick, for a nearfall. He stomps away and gets a double boot eye rake; he applies a chinlock until Truth breaks free and hits a leg lariat. Kofi tags in and springs into action; clotheslines and double chops abound. He hits the Boom Drop on Epico and goes for the finish. Primo tries to interfere but gets brushed aside so Rosa hops up on the apron; Epico tries to use the distraction but Kingston shoves him off into the ropes where Truth hangs his throat off the top rope… Trouble in Paradise! New tag champions! 5/10 Shouldn’t Zack Ryder and Santino Marella or Big Show and Great Khali have gotten this title shot since they both defeated the (former) champions in previous weeks? Hopefully, since two guys the WWE tends to remember more than the Colóns are the champions, the tag division will build from here.
In the back Abraham Washington talks to the former tag champions Epico, Primo along with Rosa Mendes about allowing him to represent them in the WWE; we never get to hear the actual decision because we cut away to this thrilling match…
Great Khali vs. Kane Beat the Clock challenge: Randy Orton has the time to beat here at 4:16. Khali has his blue alternates on tonight. Kane begins to back him into the corner but Khali reverses and pounds away with kicks and stomps. He adds some HUGE chops there; he methodically works him over there with more chops. Thrilling. They only have four minutes here to move so this isn’t going well. Khali wastes more time celebrating, which allows Kane to recover and goozle him. Khali breaks the grip and punches more; Kane bounces off the ropes and clips his knee dropping the big guy down. Kane stomps away while occasionally glancing at the clock. Kane hits a DDT but gets a two; he pounds Khali on the mat with punches. He smartly tries a few nearfalls but fails. He keeps checking the clock and heads to the top; Khali gets to his feet and Kane nails the diving clothesline; the tree falls but Kane only gets two. Kane uses a basement dropkick and gets another nearfall; these two don’t have the speed to handle a match like this and it shows. Kane hits a few uppercuts from the floor as Khali retreats to the corner. The fans grow restless and I can’t blame them. Khali begins to fire back with punches and lands the Head Chop but Kane (smartly) falls under the ropes to the floor. Kane wanders around on the floor, for some reason, there is 20 seconds left! Khali, realizing this, “nimbly” goes out after him and tosses him back into the ring; they double goozle each other as time expires. Thank GOD! Post-match, Orton is happy in the back as Kane “chokeslams” Khali in frustration. 1/10 Awful.
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Daniel Bryan Beat the Clock challenge: YES! Lawler is a completely random opponent; who did he beat to get this spot? Fans start a rather vociferous “yes” chant. Showing how much Michael Cole has come… he actually calls the match in lieu of trashing Lawler for taking the spotlight. Bryan kicks Lawler in the corner as I realize the potential match that hangs in the balance here. He nails the running dropkick in the corner for two and pounds away; Cole mentions that if Lawler were to beat the clock it would only be his second WWE title shot in his twenty year WWE career (the first one was last year). Lawler comes back with his patented right hands but Bryan cuts if off with a head-butt (for two). Bryan turns to knee drops for another nearfall. The King begins his comeback and hits a one-footed dropkick, for two. He tosses Jerry into the corner for another dropkick attempt but he moves and Bryan bangs the back of his head. Lawler heads to the second rope, removes the strap, and hits the fist drop… but gets two and a half as Cole and the crowd collectively gasped (I think shock more than enthusiasm). Back to the drawing board, Jerry; he tries the piledriver but Bryan backdrops free. He kicks Lawler’s head off and applies the Yes Lock and Bryan wins and beats the clock. Yes! Yes! Yes! Post-match, CM Punk comes out as I bask in the reality that two ROH stalwarts are going to have a WWE title match at a WWE pay-per-view. Punk applauds Bryan and holds the WWE title up; Bryan smiles back. The fans react accordingly. 5.5/10 The match wasn’t anything special save for a rare Lawler in-ring appearance; what it leads to is far greater as the WWE has two “indie” wrestlers, wrestling on a PPV for the WWE title. The potential for a great match far exceeds any other one in recent memory; I will have to figure out a way to watch that match.
More clips from Brock Lesnar breaking COO Triple H’s arm from the top of the show are shown. Michael Cole thinks Brock will be fired and reiterates HHH’s broken arm. This segues into John Cena, with his arm in a sling, following his unbelievable (both good and bad) match with Lesnar. He mentions HHH’s broken arm and says he felt his arm may have be broken as well but it was not as bad as it was initially shown… and he’s here, tonight. He discusses the differences of being “hurt” and being “injured”; injured means you go home while hurt means you’re sore but can continue. John Laurinaitis comes out and is happy to see him; Cena cuts him off to guess that Zeus is his next opponent. That was either clever, or a cheap plug to promote the rerelease of No Holds Barred. Johnny tries to backpedal claiming Lesnar was a motivational tool; Cena retorts calling Brock a “mercenary to take him out”. Laurinaitis professes his innocence but Cena sees through it and makes fun of his raspy voice and says he has his head up his ass… but then thanks him. Johnny says since he’s the GM of both shows he needs to make nicey-nice with him or he can make his life miserable. Cena fires back, making fun of “People Power”. Laurinaitis wants to let bygones be bygones. He introduces his next opponent… Lord Tensai. He comes out with Sakamoto as Cena readies for a fight. All of a sudden, Laurinaitis, who had positioned himself directly behind Cena, NAILS him in the head with the microphone! Cena goes down and Laurinaitis announces his real opponent for Over the Limit… himself!? Oh, God, well I guess his Hall of Fame brother never main evented a PPV as a singles star. Tensai, Sakamoto and Laurinaitis triple up on Cena’s injured arm; Tensai drops a senton onto it. Laurinaitis stomps on Cena’s arm and then Tensai holds in on the steel steps for Big Johnny to stomp some more. Cole breaks his heel character and questions Laurinaitis’ motives; Tensai stretches the arm some more for Laurinaitis to smash a chair into it. Johnny gives Cena the “you can’t see me gesture” as the show closes. 3/10 Well they really flubbed this one up; I realize they are desperately trying to recapture the pizzazz they once had, back in 1998, with Austin versus McMahon 2.0. I like Johnny as a heel authority figure but let him do his heeling differently that Mr. McMahon did and Cena is no Steve Austin. They also wasted the potential major PPV main event blowing the Cena/Lesnar saga too soon.
OVERALL 4.5/10 This was a 50/50 show whereas everything was either really good or totally awful. The Cena/Laurinaitis storyline is just a cheap replica of the Austin/McMahon stuff that fueled the WWF back in 1998. Unfortunately, Laurinaitis cannot hold a candle to Vince’s Mr. McMahon character (plus he was the owner) and Cena is nowhere near as charismatic as Steve Austin. And, on the polar opposite side of the spectrum, the CM Punk/Daniel Bryan has all of the potential to be one of the best pure wrestling style matches in the WWE in a LONG time. If Macho Man were alive he and Ricky Steamboat should hang out and watch the match together.
By Marc Elusive, on April 27th, 2012  From the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole & Booker T
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Big Show… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico… Diva’s Champion: Nikki Bella
No Josh Matthews tonight because Brock Lesnar beat him up on Raw.
YES! Daniel Bryan opens the show and he observes his reaction tonight, which is mixed. He takes credit for finally “cutting the umbilical cord” and got rid of AJ Lee. He says the WrestleMania eighteen second loss should go on AJ’s record not his because she lost the match (for him) and says Sheamus is running around with his World title; he will rectify that at Extreme Rules in two falls. He moves onto his “impartial” refereeing on Raw this past week for Sheamus versus Mark Henry; he addresses the accusations of the quick count. He shows highlights of said match complete with SLOW-MO of the three count… see, it wasn’t a quick count! Bryan says that post-match he was FORCED to defend himself (with highlights of the Yes Lock); he pauses the highlight while the Yes Lock is applied. After that, he goes through the “yes!” portion of his promo… Did Henry win? Yes! Did he make Sheamus tapout? Yes! Is Sheamus’ title run a fluke because he took advantage of poor AJ? Yes! Will he regain his title at Extreme Rules? Yes! Yes! Yes! Fans chant “no!” at him. Alberto Del Rio comes out, which is interesting considering he was to get the title shot after defeating Sheamus a few weeks back but it was given to Bryan with no television explanation. He cuts his own will Del Rio win the title soon “yes!” promo with Ricardo Rodriguez adding “sí!” He begins to ramble about winning the title but is interrupted by Big Show. Show asks about “yes” and “sí”; he gets the fans to chant along. Bryan and Alberto run away but, as usual, poor Ricardo is caught and treated like a piñata; Big Show asks him the “yes/sí” question and then chokeslams him. 6.5/10 Entertaining opening until Big Show got out there; they cut Alberto off from a promo, which makes me ponder… Del Rio was the shit when he debuted but has become kinda boring, especially in the promo department, perhaps his English is not up to par with the WWE and he’s forced to cut generic promos every week? Problem there is they begin to grind on the Universe after a while.
Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio: We join this match already in progress, post-commercial, with Show chopping Del Rio in the corner. Del Rio counters a charge in the corner with boots but Show continues to dominate with a shoulderblock which sends Alberto to the floor. Del Rio finally gets the advantage hanging Show’s arm off the top rope and then clips the knee; he begins to work over the arm and shoulder with the Backstabber arm breaker. He tries to lasso the cross-arm breaker, rather early, Show is still too fresh and stands up, with Del Rio hanging on, and suplexes him. Show hits clotheslines, the reverse avalanche and the big spear. He signals for the chokeslam but guess who interrupts and gets Del Rio disqualified. Post-match, Cody Rhodes gathers a Kendo stick and chair from under the ring as Del Rio slips away. Show no-sells the Kendo stick and punches the chair away. He whips Cody with a leather strap (hmm, I wonder what the stipulations at the PPV will be?) causing him to scamper up the ramp to safety. 3/10 The match was nothing and just another backdrop to the Rhodes/Show match at Extreme Rules, which will probably be a strap match; which is good for Cody since Show doesn’t have to take a pinfall loss to lose the title back to Rhodes.
In the back John Laurinaitis talks to Eve Torres about improving SmackDown. She suggests everyone wear nametags in the back so everyone will know who they are… Lloyd Braun much? There’s your weekly Seinfeld reference but the WWE made that one way too easy. They bump into Teddy Long to embarrass him. Teddy asks him what his role is in the Laurinaitis regime; he tells Teddy to report directly to Eve who tells him to get a nametag.
Damian Sandow discusses enlightenment, Buddha and Sir Isaac Newton. He feels that the WWE is riddled with self-indulging demigods who care about catchphrases and entrance music. Next week he will debut.
WWE Divas Championship Nikki Bella (w/Brie Bella) vs. Alicia Fox: I swear the Bellas’ singlets are getting tighter, smaller and shinier (not that I’m complaining). Nikki deserves this title as the Bellas have improved in the ring, which are probably the only two divas in the WWE that I can say that about. They lock up and Nikki nails a jawjacker and controls with a unique move; she entraps Fox against the ropes and holds her there with her ass, choking her against the middle rope. She hits a Hennig Snap for a nearfall and applies an arm-trap chinlock. Alicia elbows her knee for free herself and hits a snapmare. Nikki fires right back with a faceplant but Alicia shrugs it off and fires off some dropkicks; she floors Bella with a reverse springboard elbow off the ropes (sounded better than it looked). Alicia uses the Matrix Move to avoid a clothesline but Nikki anticipated it and turns it into a reverse whiplash X-Factor. Referee Justin King checks on Alicia allowing Twin Magic behind his back and Brie levels her with the Bella Buster to give Nikki the win. 4/10 Not awful but not too great either; divas matches are graded on a scale.
In the back Yoshi Tatsu get into a little tiff with newcomers (to SmackDown) Titus O’Neil and Darren Young; they make fun of Tatsu’s Japanese-ness and ask him who is partner tonight. Ezekiel Jackson arrives and says he’s the partner; Young and O’Neil are unfazed and make fun of him as well. In John Laurinaitis’ office Teddy Long is in a French maid-esque outfit (with nametag). Aksana arrives and they briefly flirt until Laurinaitis interrupts the party and gives Antonio Cesaro a trial match with Aksana the guest ring announcer. Eve Torres adds Long as the third commentator; Laurinaitis tells him that he will “talk through the headset” and will tell him what to say.
Ezekiel Jackson & Yoshi Tatsu vs. Titus O’Neil & Darren Young: Poor Teddy Long is at the “Teddy Table”, a little commentator’s table next to the real one with “People Power” stickers all over it. Long begrudgingly says whatever he is told to throughout the match. Yoshi and Young start and Darren pounds him in the corner; he then catches him in a Stungun and tags in O’Neil. Titus clubbers Tatsu’s back with a forearm and slams him. The rookies hit a double team shoulderblock and Young gets a nearfall. Tatsu begins a comeback with chops but drops his head for a backdrop; Darren takes over and dropkicks Jackson’s feet causing him to fall off the apron. O’Neil tags in and they hit a Doomsday Powerbomb and get the three count. 5/10 Impressive finish there! Young and O’Neil get another tag win, this time versus the mismatch jobber team. I think that the WWE is beginning to realize we want tag teams and they are slowly building a division again.
Michael Cole is in the ring to interview Randy Orton about Kane. Cole believes this interview will be civil; he also mentions a new John Laurinaitis edict that Superstars will be suspended for roughing up commentators and interviewers. Orton asks him if that is a question and to not push him because of prior anger issues. Cole shows highlights of Kane/Orton and then asks him about failures at ‘Mania, which turned Kane into the full monster. Randy sarcastically mocks the question and discusses the consequences of losing a wrestling match; at Extreme Rules he’s going above and beyond at the PPV for messing with his family. He wants to respect Kane for it but he won’t allow himself. He is going to make Kane suffer; Orton promises to unleash Hell at the PPV and Jinder Mahal, of all random people who will take an RKO, interrupts. Mahal hopes that Kane and Orton will take each other out paving the way for new superstars to take the top spots on the show. Jinder will be waiting for Orton on the other side of Extreme Rules. Mahal goes to leave, which would be a perfect ending to the promo, but Orton stops him and politely asks if he an announcer. The only person in the building who doesn’t realize where this is going is Jinder Mahal. RKO! 4/10 Generic PPV promo from Randy with a little sarcasm and the added benefit of Michael Cole thrown in. Mahal’s interruption would have been better served if it actually leads to a Mahal/Orton feud where he [Mahal] is allowed to stand on equal ground… but that didn’t happen.
Tyson Kidd vs. Antonio Cesaro: I’ve been waiting for this… Kidd is already in the ring. Cesaro’s gimmick is a former rugby player, as evident by his rugby socks, who was too rough; whatever gets him onto my television, this is a “tryout match”. Aksana is the special ring announcer. They lock up and he tosses Kidd down. Cesaro hits a running boot and drops elbows; he LIFTS Kidd up, from the mat, to gutwrench suplex him. Kidd tries a comeback but charges right into his Very European Uppercut (press into a Euro uppercut) The Gotch Style Neutralizer (sort of a cradle piledriver except he drops forward into a Pedigree-like move) quickly finishes. Post-match, Teddy Long is instructed to raise Cesaro’s hand in victory and then he MAKES OUT with Aksana. Teddy leaves dejected. 5/10 Good debut from Cesaro although short but that is what is impactful; hopefully the WWE will back Cesaro since two ROH alums are at the top of the card now, perhaps they realize some of these Indy guys can go.
Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes: Ugh, we go from a cool debut to… this. I guess it makes some sense in line with the injury Khali suffered at Rhodes’ hands and he is facing another giant, the Big Show, at the PPV. Cody goes right for the knee but Khali counters with clubbers and chops in the corner. Rhodes finally takes the knee out with a dropkick and DDTs it; he scales to the top hits a nice missile dropkick for two. Cody smartly settles into a leglock but Khali clubbers free so Rhodes turns to a front facelock. Khali counters that the way everyone does and begins the comeback with clotheslines. The Punjabi Plunge is countered with a kick to the knee; Rhodes tries the Disaster Kick but Khali counters into the Punjabi Plunge. Khali gets three and revenge over Rhodes. 1.5/10 Whatever. This is just to make people believe that Cody has zero chance on Sunday, which is odd reverse psychology, considering that the babyface is the one that is put in this position so people want to see if he/she can win.
In the back, everyone has nametags on, as Abraham Washington talks to Primo, Epico and Rosa Mendes about not being on the Extreme Rules pay-per-view. He asks for an answer by Monday. Ryback walks past them on his way to the ring; Abraham sees dollar signs and tries to talk to him but gets brushed off.
Ryback vs. Jacob Kaye: The jobber says his piece before being fed to the slaughter. The Usos anticipate the squash on a monitor in the back. Kaye charges and leaps but Ryback just shoves him aside in midair. Kaye poops himself but tries again and runs into a big boot complete with foot choke. He hits the press-powerslam and kills him with a clothesline; the Muscle Buster ends the destruction. 2.5/10 Squash.
Matt Striker catches up to AJ Lee and asks her the relationship with Daniel Bryan; she says nothing and Striker continues to press until Kaitlyn interrupts and tells him to leave her alone. Kaitlyn tries to reason with her and gets slapped. AJ looks upset and confused with herself for what she just did; Kaitlyn, looking shocked, does nothing and leaves.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry: This match is a result of Daniel Bryan’s quick count loss from Raw, per John Laurinaitis; originally, it was a title match but it is not announced as such. They lock up and Henry powers Sheamus around and tries a bearhug. Henry backs him into the corner and ignores the referee and pounds him there; Sheamus fires right back but charges into a standing bear splash. He alters his strategy and takes Henry’s legs out and short single-arm DDTs him, which works much better. He continues to work over the arm but Henry, with one hand, powers Sheamus over the top to the floor. Back in the ring, Henry tries to take over but the tenacious Sheamus hits the slingshot battering ram, for two. Now, Henry retreats to the floor as we head to break. When we return, Henry is dominating and bodyslams Sheamus; he misses the Death From Above splash and winds up on the apron for some a-clubberin’. Henry counters however with a back elbow midway though. Mark hiptosses him off the apron to the floor and chucks him into the barricade. Back in the ring, Henry gets a two count and clamps on a double trapezius lock. Sheamus frees himself but gets clotheslined, for two. He chokes Sheamus in the corner but Sheamus keeps firing back; Henry settles into a neck crank. Sheamus powers free and finally begins his Irish Hammer comeback. He can’t floor Henry until a leaping Irish Hammer connects. He lifts Henry up for a DDT, which gets two. Sheamus looks for the Brogue Kick but Henry avoids and clotheslines him. Mark dominates again but his avalanche meets boots and Sheamus looks for the Battering Ram of the top; Henry ducks but Sheamus wisely rolls through and plants a Brogue Kick for the three. Post-match, Bryan comes out and applauds him; Sheamus grabs a mic and dares him to get into the ring. Bryan refuses so he brings up eighteen seconds. Sheamus says he’s going to kick Bryan’s arse at the PPV and then leads the fans in a “yes!” chant. 6.5/10 Fine main event this week; Henry has become the new main event immovable object that always moves. His matches are always presented as mountains the babyface must climb and succeed; unfortunately for Mark if he keeps losing, his matches will not have the same luster anymore.
OVERALL 5/10 Mixed bag show this week with some good stuff (Daniel Bryan, Henry/Sheamus, the tag division, Antonio Cesaro debut) and some average stuff (Orton promo, Bella title match, Del Rio/Big Show) and some painful stuff (Great Khali). Everything seems to be trending in a positive direction here on SmackDown.
By Marc Elusive, on April 26th, 2012  Commentators: Scott Stanford, Michael Cole & Matt Striker
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: Big Show… United States Champion: Santino Marella… Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico… Diva’s Champion: Nikki Bella
The Usos vs. Hunico & Camacho: This is Camacho’s in-ring debut (and another tag team that I forgot about). Michael Cole is taking John Matthews’ place since he got killed by Brock Lesnar on Raw; Cole is still not happy with Lesnar. The Usos mock Hunico’s low-rider bike entrance and cut a promo on them; with Jimmy piggybacking on Jey. Hunico starts with Jey and they standoff. Jey clamps on a headlock but gets tossed off and slammed. The Usos hit tandem reverse elbows and then drop a double elbow. Jimmy works Hunico off with chops predicating a tag to Camacho and here is his first official action in the WWE. They lock up and Camacho pounds Jimmy down and bodyslams him; he runs the ropes but charges right into a forearm. The Usos hit an assisted whip into another forearm; they continue the (legal) double teaming until Jimmy drops his head on a backdrop and Camacho takes over. Hunico holds the ropes open and Jimmy tumbles to the floor allowing the heat to begin. Hunico legally exchanges and stomps him on the floor. Back from commercial, Camacho has a single-leg crab on Jimmy and then switched to a lateral press for two. Camacho continues to work the leg with shinbreakers; Jimmy tries a sunset flip a blind tag is made. Hunico hits a leg DDT and slaps on an inverted Indian Deathlock. Jimmy fights back but Hunico maintains control and tags in Camacho and he hits a high angle legdrop. Camacho continues the legwork with another single-leg crab. Jimmy frees himself with an enziguri; Camacho cuts off the tag and tries a figure-four leglock but Jimmy kicks him off (to the floor) and tags in Jey. He runs in and beats on Hunico and hits the twisting forearm followed by the Samoan Avalanche. Camacho breaks up the pinfall and Jey tries a backdrop. Jimmy (I think) gets an O’Connor roll and I get totally lost as to which Uso is which… and which is legal. It doesn’t matter because Camacho boots Jimmy and Hunico rolls him up (with tights) for three. 6.5/10 Good tag match; old school style with a confused ending. The fans were into the match as tag teaming has (finally) slowly been coming back into focus on the show; even the commentators mention it.
Here are your winners… Hunico and Camacho @ about 10:15 (broadcast) via roll up (with tights) pinfall.
Kelly Kelly vs. Maxine: Maxine is from NXT and wears a charcoal colored singlet like outfit with garter style stockings on; Kelly is in lime green. They lock up and Kelly applies a side headlock and then the Thesz press. She kicks Maxine in the corner and MISSES the handspring elbow. Maxine rams her face into the mat a few times and applies a chinlock… for a while. She switches up to a neck crank. Thrilling. Kelly finally fires back but Maxine leaps into a guillotine choke. Kelly rams her into the corner a few times to break and applies the ring rope head scissors; she smashes her face into the mat and hits clotheslines. Kelly tosses her into the corner and hits the Booty Call and finally lands the handspring elbow. She hits the K-2 (Rocker Dropper) and gets the pinfall. 1.5/10 Bleh, boring but short. Maxine’s entire offense consisted of a chinlock (although the guillotine choke was different). Kelly hit three moves and pinned her but that’s how a “rookie” should lose.
Here is your winner… Kelly Kelly @ about 5:50 via K-2 pinfall.
Highlights of Brock Lesnar and John Cena’s brief but bitter rivalry are shown.
Alex Riley vs. The Miz: This is the student versus the teacher… or the “how the mighty have fallen” match. Dear Miz, where the hell have you been? Scott Stanford has been doing his homework noting that Miz and Riley have not faced off since they opened the Rumble this year. Miz gets a pair of armdrags and taunts Riley about it. Miz bodyslams him and celebrates again; Riley clamps on a headlock but Miz reverses it. Miz steamrolls him but then charges into some armdrags and hiptosses; Alex drops his head for a backdrop so Miz takes over with stomps. He works Riley over with trapped knee strikes and a running kneelift. Miz settles into an armbar. Riley fights back, avoids a charge in the corner with a float-over, and busts out the armdrags again. He concludes with a dropkick, which nets two, so he slaps on a side headlock. Miz backs Alex into the corner and then pounds away on him; Stanford ponders why Miz is fighting on Superstars since he was the one who got John Laurinaitis total control at WrestleMania, scoring the pinfall over Zack Ryder. Well, he does get a United States title match at the PPV (granted a pre-show match but a title match nevertheless). Meanwhile, Riley fires back and hits a unique hiptoss into a neckbreaker and a running one-footed basement dropkick causing Miz to beg off. He suckers Riley into the ropes where he pulls him to the floor; Alex, however, recovers quickly and hits a running dropkick to Miz as he is attempting to get through the ropes. He heads to the top but Miz snatches him and drops his arm off the top rope. Back from commercial, Miz has Riley in another standing armbar. During the break, Miz hit a kneelift with Riley draped on the apron; back to live action, Miz hits a boot and then whips his arm over the bottom rope. Miz hits a trio of running boots for a nearfall; Miz goes back to the arm and locks in another armbar, where his arm is torqued in an unnatural position. Miz trash talks Riley which makes the hold a little more entertaining but not much. Riley mounts a comeback but gets cutoff with a single-arm DDT. Miz goes to the Vintage Clothesline and heads to the top for a double axe handle but Riley gets a classic counter, punching him in the gut, sadly the Ted Dibiase, Sr. flip oversell on the landing is omitted by Miz. They exchange blows and Riley gets the better of it; Miz misses a charge in the corner and Riley hits a running lariat. The comeback begins with clotheslines and a spinebuster. Miz stops his momentum with a roll up (for two) and then a boot in the corner; he charges into an STO, though and Riley gets a nearfall. Miz hits the double neckbreaker, dubbed Reality Check by Stanford; I know that’s not the old Reality Check but that double neckbreaker needs a name. Miz whiffs on the running boot and Riley tries a powerslam but Miz slips over the back and posts his shoulder, the same shoulder he’d been working the entire match; the Skull-Crushing Finale ends it. 6.5/10 This wasn’t bad, actually quite good, but there was a lot of wear down holds and armbars but at least it figured into the finish. The ending sequence once Riley made his comeback was very entertaining; pretty good (and lengthy) main event this week.
Here is your winner… The Miz @ approx. 13:50 (broadcast) via Skull-Crushing Finale.
OVERALL 6/10 Pretty good show this week; two entertaining matches bookend a crappy diva’s match (which was short). Worthy of a look-see.
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