Commentators: SmackDown; Jack Korpela & Matt Striker Raw; Scott Stanford & Josh Matthews
Please follow Marc Elusive on Twitter or fan Marc Elusive on Facebook or check out www.marcelusive.com for reviews and recaps (of current WWE and old WWF PPVs, DVDs and VHS tapes) and a little analysis; more of a play-by-play style, like my reviews here on 411mania.
Championship’s role call: WWE Champion: John Cena… World Champion: Randy Orton… Intercontinental Champion: Ezekiel Jackson… United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler… Tag Team Champions: New Nexus… Diva’s Champion: Kelly Kelly… Internet Champion: Zack Ryder
Zack Ryder vs. Drew McIntyre: The ring ropes and posts are white here; not sure if Zack is supposed to be a babyface. They fight in the corner and when referee Nunzio separates them Drew levels him with a boot. McIntyre stomps his head and then aggressively pounds on him in the corner. Ryder comes back with punches but McIntyre slides to the floor. Ryder PESCADOS out onto Drew and adds a fist pump. Back in the ring, Drew rolls to the other side of the ring; Ryder gives chase but gets his legs takes out on the apron. Drew hits a sidewalk slam onto the apron making it look like a backbreaker. Back in the ring, McIntyre gets a nearfall and applies an armbar. Ryder rises to his feet but Drew cuts off a comeback with a dropkick and nips-up. McIntyre chokes him against the ropes and pummels him there; short clothesline by McIntyre nets a two count. Zack tries another comeback but it gets cut off with a chop. Drew tries to apply a chinlock while he is sitting atop the turnbuckles but Ryder pulls him off. He begins to comeback with running cross chops and hits the Broski Boot, which gets two. He asks the referee if he was serious, bro. He flashes the “LI” but the Rough Ryder is countered into a sit-out powerbomb for two. McIntyre gets frustrated but then calms himself and slowly goes for the Future-Shock DDT… but Ryder scoops the legs and jackknifes him FOR THREE! Take care spike, your hair. 5.5/10 The match was slow when Drew was on offense and it was a little boring, even for a Ryder match, but Zack sneaks out a surprise win.
Here is your winner… Zack Ryder @ about 9:15 via jackknife roll-up pinfall.
The entire contract signing from SmackDown is shown, this is from my “On the Marc” review of it (to read the entire thing, click here)… Teddy Long is in the ring and introduces Christian (with his lawyer) and Randy Orton for the contract signing. They sit at opposite sides of the table for the signing; Christian says his “legal counsel” has added a stipulation in the contract that if a bad referee call occurs, he gets an immediate rematch. Christian continues to complain about Orton being the “Golden Boy” and says no one can save him this time; he adds that Orton can’t beat him and at MitB he is going to prove it. Orton says that there was a time when he respected him, and they have had great matches, which he won; every time he loses and begs for more and it was comical. Orton says all of the begging and lawyer stuff is making him angry… and he has issues in the past dealing with anger. Orton signs. The lawyer checks the contract and Christian is about to sign but Sheamus shows up out of nowhere and attacks both of them. He clobbers Christian with a Brogue Kick and then COUNTERS an RKO and kills Orton with a Brogue Kick as well and then tears up the contract and leaves. 5/10 A little different from the usual contract signing; Sheamus has inserted himself into the title picture and perhaps can segue into a feud with Orton allowing Christian a title reign.
Natalya vs. Alicia Fox: Natalya is already in the ring; Alicia charges her and Alicia picks the leg but Nattie quickly turns it into her own leglock. Alicia grabs a chinlock so Natalya fires her off and leapfrogs into a monkey flip. Nattie grabs Fox’s hair and tries to pull her in the ring but they just freeze and stand there looking at each other… then Natalya crawls under Alicia’s legs; that was weird, and Nattie gets a shoulderblock in. Whatever. Natalya grabs a piece of Alicia’s red hair extensions and taunts her with it. She O’Connor rolls Alicia (with bridge) but gets two. She goes behind but Fox grabs the ropes, Natalya nips back up and arm drags her into an armbar. The commentators are uncomfortably quiet during this match; Nattie tries a powerslam but Alicia grabs the hair (I think) and pulls her down and slaps her then whiplashes her by the hair. Back from commercial, Alicia had Nattie in a chinlock. Fox slaps her in the face again and applies another armbar. Alicia bites off one of Natalya’s nails and reapplies a chinlock. Natalya tries a bodyslam but collapses under the weight, for two; Alicia gets a field goal kick and then applies another chinlock. Fox wraps her into a head scissors lock; Natalya gets up and swings her into the turnbuckle, tying her in the Tree of Woe and dropkicks her; she misses a knee in the corner. Natalya comes back with clotheslines; she hits a delayed Bulldog suplex. Nattie tries for the Sharpshooter but Alicia kicks her off and schoolgirls her for three? That was… abrupt. Post-match Alicia retrieves her hair and leaves. 1.5/10 Boy, this match did not click at all. Mistakes and they just were not on the same page here, even the commentary was brutal. The match was nine minutes, it felt like nine hours.
Here is your winner… Alicia Fox @ about 9:25 (broadcast) via schoolgirl roll up.
Don Gonzales vs. Wade Barrett: A rare appearance for Wade Barrett on Superstars; this match feels like an old school WWF Superstars match. Gonzales is already in the ring, duh. Barrett smiles at Gonzales and pokes the finger in his face. Gonzales slaps Barrett in the face so he KILLS him with a clothesline. Barrett beats on the kid in the ropes and chokes him there a few times. He knees him in the face a few times; Barrett clobbers him with a big boot. He drops his head on a backdrop and Gonzales gets a boot in but runs into the spinning Bossman slam. Wasteland completes the squash. 2/10 Squash match.
Here is your winner… Wade Barrett @ about 4:35 via Wasteland pinfall.
The entire Vince McMahon versus John Cena promo from the end of Raw is shown, this is from my “On the Marc” review (to read the entire article, click here)… McMahon comes out to address Cena’s demands to a mixed reaction. Vince says CM Punk deserves to be suspended. McMahon says that the suspension has nothing to do with the comments he made about his family but was done because he did what is right for the WWE Universe. That is more Mr. McMahon than Vince McMahon. Vince tells a story about Punk that he demanded private limos and to fly first class among other stuff during his contract negotiations; he wanted to be on cups, programs and DVDs, which Vince feels he does not deserve to be on. He reiterates that Punk was suspended because he deserved it and calls him a “punk”. Vince concludes and goes to leave but Cena comes out. Cena is not happy that Punk was kicked to the curb; he says that Vince is all about first amendment stuff. Vince says “that’s why your microphone is still working, pal”. Cena calls him “boss”; he calls McMahon a fighter. Cena says he even took down Turner… but CM Punk says a few things that get under your skin and you suspend him; Cena ponders if Vince has gone soft. Cena says he wants to fight Punk and if Vince does not feel like fighting anymore, “maybe you should hang it up, old man”. THEM’S FIGHTIN’ WORDS! Now Vince tells us the real reason he suspended, Punk… he does not want to take a chance (like once before) that Punk could leave the WWE with the title. Vince takes calculated risks and will not be embarrassed if Punk leaves with the title. Cena says he should be ashamed of himself; Vince is really afraid of Cena’s possible inability to beat Punk. Cena says he earned the match and deserves to fight for the title but GOD FORBID they embarrass Vince McMahon. Cena writes all of the storylines that could occur in the match (if it should take place); he even mentions that Punk rode on the side of his car during his WrestleMania 22 entrance. He calls it the possible match of the year but Vince won’t let it happen. Cena ponders what would happen if Cena himself says something Vince does not like. Is he suspended? Vince tells John not to piss him off, don’t be [Hulk] Hogan. Cena says that Vince’s ego gets in his way; Vince is feeling embarrassed and does not care what anyone wants, which could possibly jeopardize his company. Cena gets it, it is Vince’s company, but if that is how he wants to run it; he busts his ass for the company and wants to feel this era is worth something. Cena feels that when he kicked Punk to the curb he made the WWE title meaningless. He tosses the belt to Vince and leaves. McMahon calls him no different than all of the rest and an ingrate. Vince stops him at the stage and brings the WWE title back up to him. Vince reinstates Punk and the match at MitB is on; Vince tells him that if Punk wins the title, he’ll walk down the aisle and tell him “John Cena… YOU’RE FIIIIRED!” 8.5/10 Good worthy follow-up promo to last week’s monumental show; let’s hope the WWE does not drop the ball on this one.
OVERALL 2/10 Zack Ryder is the only reason to watch the show this week unless you enjoy Wade Barrett kicking the crap out of some little jobber.