Commentators: Michael Cole
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: The Miz… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth… NXT Champion: Seth Rollins… Diva’s Champion: Layla
Michael Cole opens the show; just before the show went on the air, CM Punk attacked Jerry Lawler and destroyed him backstage. After the credits, Sheamus is introduced. He says the party never ends in Chicago but said party will end for Alberto Del Rio. Punk immediately interrupts to a HUGE ovation in his hometown. He stays at the top of the stage and tells him not to talk to try to talk to his hometown. Punk claims that the King attacked him first and then he got what he deserved Chicago style. Last week class was in session in a cage; he calls John Cena a white knight who tried to save the King. Punk asks the hometown fans if he turned his back on them. The answer is obvious. By the way, Sheamus is in the ring. Punk links Cena’s help of Lawler into a sign of disrespect, by defending Lawler, therefore Cena agrees with Jerry, and that is a sign of disrespect. Sheamus interrupts and discusses disrespect and says he is the World Heavyweight Champion. Sheamus makes a good point that Punk did exactly what he claims The Rock did to him when he was disrespected by interrupting him. Punk says the World champ is the SECOND best in the world and to shut his mouth. Sheamus tells him to turn around since he’s talking out of his arse anyway. AJ Lee comes out. She books Cena versus Del Rio and Punk versus Sheamus. 7/10 I enjoyed that, the hot crowd really brought out the whole segment. Sheamus was good too as we have the main events booked for the night. We get a first Punk/Sheamus.
Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero): This was the main event of SmackDown; here it’s the first match! They lock up and try the shoulderblock thing they did on SmackDown but Orton blocks the shoulder so Ziggler dropkicks him (right in the face). That’ll learn him. A little showoffing follows. They do the same sequence and Orton hits a pair of shoulderblocks and a dropkick. Here comes the Orton Stomp. The usual smarky Chi Town crowd chants for Orton. Randy hits his favorite new move: the slingshot suplex, for two. He’s like a ten-year-old with a new toy with that move; he just got it and wants to play with it over and over again. Dolph fires back in the corner and… gets caught with a clothesline. Orton tosses him to the floor and takes the battle to the floor; he chucks him into the barricade in the aisle a few times and then clotheslines him. Back from commercial, they are trading blows in the ring and Orton scores with a press-flapjack. Orton pounds in the corner (ten times) and telegraphs a backdrop so Ziggler swings into a neckbreaker. Now Ziggler delivers the receipt on the floor as Orton winds up in the barricade. Back in the ring, the Showoff gets two. Speaking of showoffs here’s the elbow quickly followed by a chinlock with the handstand. Dolph turns it into a kind of a Cattle Mutilation. Orton erects himself but a knee keeps him down; Dolph misses a second Showoff Elbow. He fires back with a running Hart Attack for two; to the top, Dolph… gets crotched. Randy pummels him atop the buckles and then snags him in the Cowboy Superplex but it only gets two. This match is slower than the SmackDown match but seems better put together. Orton now starts the Voices Comeback and hits clotheslines and a scoop powerslam; the Viper DDT is countered but the stretch backbreaker is not. Randy turns right into a leaping DDT for another close nearfall. Dolph thinks Namedropper but Orton counters into the Viper DDT. Randy think RKO but Dolph tosses him into the corner; he charges and Orton tries the Viper Slither (rolling schoolboy out of the corner) but Dolph rolls through that and gets the pinfall with a BLATANT handful of tights. Post-match, The Miz comes out to be the color man tonight. 6.5/10 Much better than their match on SmackDown; Dolph wins a match (holy poop!) and probably should have won a little cleaner but alas we can’t have ‘em all. At least he’s winning matches as opposed to backing into the (possible) World title.
Here is your winner… Dolph Ziggler @ about 9:10 (broadcast) via rollup pinfall (with tights).
We head to anger management week 2. Harold smartly sits away from Kane. Everyone shares their anger collages. Daniel Bryan’s says “yes” and “no” on it. He begins to freak out and crumples it up. Kane shares his collage, which is a blank piece of paper. Dr. Shelby asks Kane if he feels blank on the inside; Kane shows him how he feels by crumpling up the paper, tossing it into the garbage can, and using his in-ring taunt to set it on fire! Amusing. Bryan calls him a teacher’s pet; Kane snickers. 8/10 These anger management segments are six ways to awesome.
Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes & Tensai (w/Sakamoto): Tensai is the DEFINITION of “we have no idea what to do with him”. This match is like “mask therapy” for Cody. Cody and Cara start and he immediately gets nailed with the handspring elbow and a commercial? We get the entrances and immediately go to commercial? O-kay… We return with Tensai pounding on Cara. Thrilling. Luckily a tag is made as Michael Cole reminds me of Tensai’s interest here: Sin Cara beat him a few weeks ago on Raw. Rhodes beats the tar out of Cara in the corner as Rey plays Robert Gibson. Rhodes applies a crossbow hold; Cara counters and flips himself into a one count. Cody brings the big guy back in and he slams him. Tensai busts out the ol’ trapezius hold. Cara begins to fight back so Cody gets a tag; Cara flips free and tags in Mysterio. Rey heads in and runs around Cody and hits a tilt-a-whirl head scissors; he heads up top and nails a seated senton for two. Cody tries a schoolboy but Mysterio rolls through into a low dropkick. Tensai breaks up the pinfall and tries the Derailer but Rey scoots free and nails a 619; Sin Cara adds a springboard missile dropkick to wipe the big man. Rhodes lays out Mysterio with a release gourdbuster and tries a powerbomb but Rey ‘ranas him into the 619. Mysterio tries to make a tag from the apron but the referee won’t allow it (nice touch); he gets into the ring for the LEGAL tag and Cara drops the Senton bomb for three. 5.5/10 Good match as team Luchadore gets a win. Tensai did nothing in that match, which is fine. Not sure what they plan to do with him now. Cody is doing too many jobs to the masked men; I hope it’s just the mask angle and they keep the faith in him.
Here are your winners… Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio @ about 7:15 (broadcast) via619/Senton bomb pinfall.
More anger management time! We do the circle of trust and Kane and Daniel Bryan don’t seem happy. Dr. Shelby asks Kane and Bryan to demonstrate. He asks Bryan to fall backwards and Kane will catch him. Bryan reluctantly falls and says he trusts Kane; Kane actually catches him. We move to faze 2 where they will team up to catch Harold. They miscommunicate and poor Harold SPLATS! Bryan has a breakthrough and understands Kane. MAKE THEM A TAG TEAM NOW! 8.5/10 Even funnier than before.
Sheamus comes out for his match but CM Punk isn’t dressed to compete. One thing here I don’t get, if you are trying to push him as a heel and get him booed why would he be announced as “Chicago’s own, CM Punk”? Punk grabs a mic and says his city respects his decisions; he says that THEY understand that Punk is a main eventer… and as a main eventer he should go on LAST. He also says that it is Labor Day and he is taking the day off. He walks out to a chorus of boos. Sheamus grabs the mic and says that he disrespected his hometown fans who wanna see this match. AJ Lee bumps into Punk in the back; he tells her to check his contract, he’s got personal days. Matt Striker asks AJ what her plan is; she does not even know who he is. Really? NXT host much? She says that she will fins Sheamus an opponent.
Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger: Alberto Del Rio joins for commentary. They lock up and battle in the ropes; Swagger tries a waistlock. They fight in the ropes and Swagger backdrops Sheamus onto the apron. Sheamus counters and heads to the top for a battering ram for two. The fans get annoyed for getting jipped out of CM Punk and begin the “boring” chant. Swagger submarines Sheamus’ leg. Swagger pummels Sheamus in the corner; he counters a cross-corner whip with boots and begins his Irish Hammer comeback to silence. Swagger avoids the running kneelift and nicely segues into the Dr. Bomb. Sheamus counters (actually Swagger just puts him down) and tries White Noise. Swagger counters that and hits the Swagger Bomb, for two. Fans are really annoyed at this point. Sheamus busts out a Texas Cloverleaf and gets the submission. Post-match, Del Rio tries a sneak attack but Sheamus counters and hits the White Noise. Ricardo Rodriguez takes a bullet in the form of a Brogue Kick for Del Rio, saving him. Medics check on Ricardo who has not moved. 3/10 Terrible match and the fans knew it; they were also pissed they got bait-and-switched.
Here is your winner… Sheamus @ about 4:15 via Texas Cloverleaf submission.
Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres: THIS is not the way to get the crowd back into it tonight. Layla joins for commentary. They lock up and Kaitlyn counters a waistlock and hits a crossbody. The Miz plays “shit all over the divas division” as Michael Cole tries to play the straight man. Kaitlyn applies a side headlock; Kaitlyn counters a hiptoss into her own and it’s terrible. Layla seems to have found her English accent again. Eve rolls around on the mat with her and nothing becomes of it. Torres offers a handshake. Kaitlyn tries a slide-through and Eve drop-toeholds her onto her face. Torres applies a series of chinlocks as Miz and Layla argue on commentary. The fans are asleep. The referee checks on Kaitlyn who appears to have hurt herself. Eve capitalizes with a neckbreaker and gets the pinfall. Post-match, Eve shakes Kaitlyn’s hand and talks to Layla offering her a handshake. They shake and no one cares. 1/10 Garbage.
Here is your winner… Eve Torres @ about 5:15 via neckbreaker pinfall.
In the back Jack Swagger is taking some extended time off to get over his losing streak. AJ Lee catches up to him and says everyone is leaving her: Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho (her fault) and CM Punk. Jack apologizes and leaves. Meanwhile, back at anger management Dr. Shelby congratulates Kane and Daniel Bryan. Bryan has some words; he admits that he has anger management issues and grants Kane a rematch after Summerslam. Kane says he will accept and promises to do his best not to eviscerate him. They begin to trash talk each other; Harold tries to make piece but gets yelled at. They continue to fight and Dr. Shelby FREAKS OUT complaining that they have learned nothing. Back at the arena, the RawActive poll is for Bryan and Kane to fight, for a tag team or “hug it out”. Interesting. They should form that tag team. Outside the training room Alberto Del Rio storms out upset and Matt Striker tries to get a word in about Ricardo Rodriguez but is cut off by his new lawyer, David Otunga.
Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal: Ryback has a shirt now. BIG “Goldberg” chant to start. Michael Cole talks about his tagline and Ryback’s rise to the top of the food chain. The Miz responds dryly with, “or maybe he’s just hungry”. Mahal gets a knee up in the corner and tries to club the arm. Ryback throws him off and tries a double goozle; Mahal kicks him and gets a few shots in before Ryback pounds him down. Ryback keeps charging in the corner and keeps running into Jinder’s boots. He finally knocks the big man down with a second rope shoulderblock. Mahal gets one. Ryback begins a comeback with a slam and a backdrop. He powerbombs Mahal and finally gets the fans to chant “feed me more”. He nails the Sheffield Lariat and Shell Shocked for the pinfall. 3.5/10 Ryback continues his slow build to undefeated streak. I think he’s 28-0 (on television).He should move up the food chain to the first lower midcarder.
Here is your winner… Ryback @ about 4:25 via Shell Shocked pinfall.
In the back, Matt Striker talks to AJ Lee. He asks her what she is going to do about the show falling apart. She appears to be losing her mind and makes the main event falls counts anywhere.
Daniel Bryan comes out and keeps his cool and Zen, not getting worked up over the “yes” chants. Kane comes out next. The Twitter poll is decided and they have to “hug it out” with 55% of the votes. This was one of the more interesting polls the WWE has ever done. I would have voted for tag team (it was second with 27% of the vote). Bryan initially refuses and there is a referee IN THE RING. Bryan almost loses his cool as The Miz is placing bets on it. The fans chant “hug it out”. Kane is having issues. This is hysterical. Miz makes a point about why there is a referee in the ring for a hug. They slowly work their way towards each other; the Miz tries to analyze the action and the specifics of the “hug”. Bryan HUGS Kane and then yells at him for not reciprocating. Fans chant “hug him back” and Kane finally gives in and hugs him back. Kane is a bit perturbed since Bryan did not hug him. Cole and Miz continue to analyze the rules, which is hysterical and disturbing since Cole does not analyze the actual matches. FINALLY we get the HUG! Bryan offers a handshake and Kane accepts. They begin to slap each other on the back and it gets a little testy. Bryan shoves Kane and he reciprocates. Eventually it devolves into a fight and Kane gets low bridged to the floor. They continue the violence on the floor and Bryan goes into the barricade. Kane grabs a chair and pounds Bryan with it. Back in the ring, Bryan eats a chokeslam. Kane grabs the chair and puts it around Daniel’s neck and thinks about Pillmanizing him. Referees show up and Bryan recovers and nails Kane with the chair and runs away. 7/10 That was surreal; Kane and Bryan gave into the insanity and the crowd loved it. Make them a tag team now!
WWE United States Championship Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana) vs. Santino Marella: They lock up and Marella immediately hits the hiptoss and Salute head-butt. He goes for the Cobra but Aksana pops up on the apron. Marella wisely puts the sock away and tries the Cobra without the sock puppet. It has no effect since there is no sock involved. Santino fumbles with the puppet and Cesaro nails him some trapped head-butts. Cesaro grabs him in the power gutwrench suplex and STOMPS THE COBRA. Santino tries a comeback but Cesaro clotheslines him down. Marella kicks Cesaro to the floor he tries again to get to the puppet and succeeds but Cesaro is a SERIOUS WRESTLER and nail him with the Neutralizer to retain the title. The Miz’s “Jake Roberts never ran around with a stupid puppet he nailed you with a DDT” line is all you need to know about this angle. 3/10 There was a time I liked and enjoyed Santino Marella but that time has passed. The WWE has something with Santino back when he was in the Elimination Chamber but they Zack Rydered him. Whatever, at least Cesaro retains his title.
Here is your winner… Antonio Cesaro @ about 3:45 via Neutralizer pinfall.
Zack Ryder vs. “One Man Band” Heath Slater: Both guys are already in the ring. Ryder has switched to white boots; it works for him. They lock up and Slater hits a shoulderblock; Ryder comes back with a leapfrog and a flapjack. Ryder gets one. Slater retaliates with a punch in the mouth and stomps the yard. Zack tries a quickie comeback but Slater lands Miller’s Crossing for two; he pounds Ryder and drops a Air Guitar Elbow. Slater with a chinlock. Slater pounds on the corner as The Miz makes a U2 reference regarding tag teams; he mentions Bono and Edge. He then teases Michael Cole about taking so long to get the reference. Cole says well the WWE does have a Hall of Famer named Edge. Ryder comes back with a missile dropkick and the Broski Boot. Heath counters the Rough Ryder but gets flattened with it a few seconds later for the pinfall. Post-match, Vickie Guerrero comes out to spoil the party. 4/10 Ryder wins; Slater loses. Nothing match, although Slater is growing on me for some reason. Vickie completely “buried” Ryder there.
Here is your winner… Zack Ryder @ about 5:15 via Rough Ryder pinfall.
Vickie Guerrero gets into the ring and says that she has a problem with AJ Lee. She is going to sit in the ring until AJ comes out. After commercial, Vickie is still sitting in the ring. We see why Vickie is mad with clips; Guerrero begins to interview the chair (as if it was AJ). AJ Lee heads to the ring finally. AJ spoke with the Board of Directors and she is now on a no-touch clause. She is not allowed to touch anyone. She also has to apologize to Vickie. Guerrero, realizing she has complete control of this situation, taunts her and DEMANDS she apologize. One small nitpick, AJ is still the GM so she could just book Vickie in a match against Kane if she wants to. She apologizes again; Vickie says it ain’t good enough. Guerrero SLAPS her a few times and does the “you can’t touch me” thing. She leaves and AJ stews in the ring. Why does not she book Dolph Ziggler in a match against Sheamus next week to get back at her? Vickie cackles and skips up the ramp. AJ snaps, nervous breakdown like, and throws a chair around the ring. 3.5/10 I guess this was done to use as an escape hatch in case the WWE gives up on the AJ GM thing. They will use Vickie for it as well; she [Vickie] has come a long way and is one of the most over heels in the company. That segment dragged a little in the middle. I guess AJ is crazy after all.
Via TOUT, David Otunga is going to take legal action against Sheamus over his attack on Ricardo Rodriguez. He will elaborate on SmackDown.
John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio falls count anywhere: We return from break with Del Rio hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Alberto stomps in the corner and slams him for two; he locks in a chinlock allowing the fans a dueling chant. Cena fires back and we get the “boo/yay” spot. They hit a double clothesline spot. Del Rio snags him in a Backstabber but it merely gets two. Alberto to the top but Cena cuts it off with a DROPKICK in midair! John, busting out the big moves to get the Chi Town crowd to try to appreciate him. Cena begins the comeback with the shoulderblocks and the Proto-bomb; he signals for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle (that won’t get the Chicago crowd behind you). He hits the Shuffle but Del Rio grabs the ropes to counter the AA. They tumble to the floor and Alberto tosses Cena into the steps as they finally realize the rules. Alberto stamps on the floor; Cena hits a diving shoulderblock off the steps and gets two on the floor. John dismantles the announce table but Del Rio surprises him with a step-up enziguri for two. Del Rio tries to suplex him into the table. Cena counters into an AA try but Del Rio posts him. He grabs a steel chair but Casey strikes out and Cena tosses him into the crowd. John rearranges the steps towards the announce table and tosses Del Rio about the ringside area. He thinks AA off the steps through the table but Del Rio counters with a backdrop superplex through the table… for two! Del Rio grabs a mic and stomps Cena while ranting how Cena, THE ENTIRE ROSTER, and the city of Chicago is beneath him. He then tells him that he is going to break his arm. He tries the cross-armbreaker but Cena counters into the STF. Del Rio lasts a while but manages to grasp the microphone and bops Cena with it to break the hold. Cena avoids a charge and spills to the floor (and looks like he tweaked his knee on the landing). They fight up the aisle and Del Rio suplexes him on the ramp. They battle up the stage toward the Ferrari that Del Rio drove into the arena. Cena tries to nail Del Rio with a heavy speaker but Del Rio kicks his leg out. They battle into the catacombs of the arena. Del Rio gets tossed into the interview area but recovers and tries the cross-armbreaker in the back. Cena counters and gives him an AA onto a trunk but turns right into a surprise roundhouse kick from CM Punk, who decided, since it’s the main event, to get physically involved. He tosses Del Rio on top for the three count. Post-match, Punk gives Cena a Go2Sleep onto the hood of a car and says “respect” and celebrates with the WWE title. Punk gets in the car and Paul Heyman is driving it! SURPRISE! 7/10 Good brutal style match; they built to the table spot in the match so it seemed important as opposed to having a hundred of them throughout the match. Normally these two would put on a snore-fest but
Here is your winner… Alberto Del Rio @ about 8:50 via CM Punk roundhouse kick pinfall.
OVERALL 6.5/10 This show was much better than the prior shows; perhaps it was the hot crowd, perhaps it was the great commentary team (CM Punk should attack Lawler every week). The matches were much better as week. The Kane and Daniel Bryan stuff was fantastic.