Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross & John “Bradshaw” Layfield
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Sheamus… Intercontinental Champion: The Miz… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan & Kane… NXT Champion: Seth Rollins… Diva’s Champion: Eve Torres
Paul Heyman opens the show. Digging the pink ropes for breast cancer. Last night he witnessed history… CM Punk successfully defended the title against John Cena. He asks referee Chad Patton, the ref from the main event match, to come out and defend his decision last night. Heyman shows a still of the double pinfall and Patton’s “controversial” call from last night. Patton admits he made the correct decision. Paul mentions a fan with a camera phone who posted footage on YouTube (which was taken down incidentally); Heyman blames Cena. Heyman managed to get the footage and shows it. Tie (draw) goes to the champion. 303 consecutive days Punk is still the champion and is WORTHY of our respect. Here comes Cena and he tells Paul to shut up. Cena AGREES with Heyman and Patton’s decision; he admits that he was not behind the YouTube footage removal. John had no problem with the decision just in the finality of it. Cena says we all wanted to see a clear cut winner. He wonders if Punk earned the respect… by retaining the title in a tie. Heyman says “yes”. Cena goes on and on about respect and retaining titles on ties; he adds that he wants to finish the match tonight. Heyman says that he will tell Cena to his face how he feels… when he gets here. Alberto Del Rio comes out with Ricardo Rodriguez; he tells Cena to stop crying. He then whines about the Brogue Kick being reinstated… right before his match.
Del Rio says he deserves a rematch. AJ Lee comes out and skips around the ring. AJ speaks on behalf of Booker T and plans a super main event; she books a tag main event and the winner will determine who will get a rematch and who will be in it. AJ leaves with Heyman yelling at her all of the way up the aisle. 4/10 Super main event? This was a decent opening as we move forward the in the Cena/Punk rivalry, which has produced some of the best matches of 2011-12, so I’m all for the continuum. Del Rio did not lend much to this promo and his rivalry with Sheamus, despite also providing some good matches, is TERRIBLY boring.
Michael Cole sends thanks to the Montreal EMTs for saving Jerry Lawler’s life. Lawler sends out a TOUT with all of his thanks for well wishes. King is home in Memphis. John “Bradshaw” Layfield gets an entrance as does Jim Ross who is also joining for broadcast.
Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Primo & Epico (w/Rosa Mendes): This should be a pretty exciting match. Cara and Primo start and he immediately nails the handspring elbow. Cara hits his step-up-the-ripe twirling armdrag. They hit a Poetry in Motion splash in the corner. Rey gets a nearfall. Cara tags back in and they hit double soccer kicks as we head to break. When we come back, Epico has the advantage and tags Primo back in. He tries some kind of crisscross hold but Cara quickly forces him off. He tries a tag but Primo cuts it off, catching him in midair; Sin Cara casually bounces into a tornado DDT off the ropes. Rey gets a tag and runs in with a wheelbarrow armdrag to Epico. Mysterio hits a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and Cara tags in. He assists Rey in another head scissors and sets Epico up for a 619. Primo rushes in and winds up in the same position. Mysterio hits a double 619; luckily for Team Luchadore, the MASSIVE FORCE sends the illegal man, Primo, to the floor where Rey and drop him with a seated senton on him. Poor Epico, the legal man stumbles into the ring and Cara lands a Swanton Bomb for three. Post-match, the Prime Time Players spoil the party and lay out the Luchadores with their respective moves, the Gut Check and Clash of the Titus. They grab the mic and complain about getting their number one contendership from them. They get serious and say that now they are going to do the taking from mow on. 6/10 Entertaining squash as the tag scene has just gotten much better with a few new tag teams. The attack by the Players also builds some much needed storylines into the tag division. I like the new attitude too.
Here are your winners… Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio @ about 7:50 (broadcast) via Swanton Bomb pinfall.
Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix: Layla, the former champion, is on commentary. Beth tosses Eve around as the commentators discuss conspiracy theories on how Kaitlyn mysteriously got hurt just prior to the title match at the PPV. I’ll tell you how… she has little to no actual in ring talent. Torres applies a side headlock; Beth hits an Axe Bomber and pounds away. Phoenix tries to snag her in the Glam Slam but Eve stomps her feet. Beth fires right back and hits a splash in the corner. Eve avoids disaster in the other corner with a float over; Beth catches her and tries a powerslam but Eve slips free and pushes her into the turnbuckles. Torres schoolgirls her for three. 1.5/10 At least it was short. Wow, Beth is a jobber.
Here is your winner… Eve Torres @ about 2:15 via schoolgirl pinfall.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/Cameron & Naomi) vs. Heath Slater: Antonio Cesaro is on commentary for this match. Slater pushes Clay so Brodus shoves him back. Clay misses a rhino charge in the corner. Slater takes him down with some kicks and a low dropkick. Heath applies a chinlock and segues into a front facelock. Brodus begins to jiggle and frees himself. He hits a butt-butt and a lunging forearm. He looks for an avalanche but Cesaro provides the distraction and Slater hits the E-Minor for two. He heads up top but (of course) lands on Clay’s head and gets pinned by the Splat. 2/10 Squash for Clay but at least he and Cesaro have some kind of a storyline/rivalry.
Here is your winner… Brodus Clay @ about 3:00 via Splat pinfall.
The Miz comes out for his “MizTV” segment, which is his new interview segment. He goes over all of the other famous interview segments in the WWE and feels he is more awesome than all of them. He proved his greatness by defeating all three of his opponents last night; his guest is the person who booked that match, GM Booker T. Miz pulls the old Brother Love “ask a question and whisk the mic away before they can answer and then answer for them in your favor” move. Miz feels that this is the highlight of his career. He then has a question: why is Booker against him? He then mentions the banning and un-banning of the Brogue Kick. Miz feels that he misses the spotlight. Miz says his time is over as the fans chant “boring”. Book grabs the mic and suggests a new guest for his show; he adds that a true superstar defeats several people at the same time. Ryback comes out. Miz leaves so Ryback destroys the MizTV set. He deadlifts the sofa and tosses it over the top as Miz looks on with an “oh, shit” look on his face. 5/10 So we are moving Ryback up the rankings here. We finally get to see what Ryback has to offer in a longer extended feud that he is not going to squash his way through.
In the back Paul Heyman and CM Punk converse when Josh Matthews asks him if he is okay with teaming with Alberto Del Rio. Punk complains about disrespect and wonders what he has to do to get said respect.
Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero): They lock up and Marella gets a judo toss; Dolph goads Santino and dropkicks him right in the face. Ziggler tosses Santino into the ropes but he powerwalks back and forth until Dolph gets into his face; Santino jackknife cradles him for two. He hits a nice armdrag. Dolph forearms his way back and hits a neckbreaker. Fans start to chant for Ziggler as he hits the Showoff elbow. JBL mentions the babyface cheers Dolph is getting. Ziggler grabs Marella’s cobra sock and rubs it in his face calling him “a joke”. Marella tries a comeback but Dolph elbows him in the face and steals the ARROGANT COVER. Santino begins a real comeback and hits the split-legged hiptoss and Salute head-butt. He goes for the puppet but realizes that it is lying in the ring. Marella goes for it but Vickie pulls the sock away and Ziggler hits the Zigzag from behind. Dolph pulls Santino up and delivers another Zigzag to complete the squash. Post-match, Vickie stuffs the sock into Santino’s mouth. 3/10 Dolph gets a win back since jobbing to Orton (again). Well, since losing his US title, Santino is back to his usual place on the card as entertaining JTTS. A spirited squash for Ziggler; it should be interesting to see where the WWE goes with the crazy babyface chants Ziggler is getting.
Here is your winner… Dolph Ziggler @ about 4:10 via (two) Zigzag pinfall.
Justin Gabriel vs. Wade Barrett: I called this match last week (so I’m one week late). So, Gabriel gets to “sample the product” tonight; lots of history here back from Nexus to Corre. Gabriel starts off quick with kicks and a slow hurracanrana, for one. Barrett hits a savate kick and the fans chant “we want Nexus”. Gabriel heads to the floor where Barrett knees him and wraps his guts around the ringpost. Barrett pummels Gabriel in the corner and hits a backbreaker, for two. He continues to use the bare knuckles and locks in a seated abdominal stretch. Gabriel hits a drop-toehold into the buckles; he hits the kicks but Barrett nails him in the ribs to take over. Barrett looks for a pump-handle slam but Justin counters into an Eye of the Hurricane. He hits the top rope Lionsault for another nearfall. Gabriel misses a roundhouse kick and Barrett press-flapjacks him. He takes Gabriel’s head off with a short forearm to the face. 3.5/10 Squash for Barrett over a former colleague.
Here is your winner… Wade Barrett @ about 5:10 via short forearm pinfall.
In the back R-Truth and Kofi Kingston celebrate Subway’s birthday with Jarrett. Little Jimmy has some ideas for some subs; he gives them three subs (one for Little Jimmy). They leave and Damien Sandow shows up and has an idea for a pretty good sounding sub, actually. He gives him a meatball marinara and it suffices for him. You’re welcome. Zack Ryder has an idea for a WWWYKI sub. Jarrett gives him a sub as well and then turns and faces Ryback! FEED ME MORE! He gives Ryback a sub and he casually (but forcefully) grabs another one and leaves. Sheamus it talking to John Cena but John is deep in thought. Cena is focusing on the possible rematch tonight; Sheamus is confident they will win and wants to toast to everything.
We get clips of Jerry Lawler’s return to Memphis.
WWE Tag Team Championship Daniel Bryan & Kane vs. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (w/Little Jimmy): Kofi and Truth waste no time getting their contractually obligated rematch. Bryan’s entrance is great as he is back to arguing with the fans on his way to the ring. Team Friendship argues over who is the tag champion and who will start the match as the fans chant “yes”. Bryan starts (since Kane did last night) and locks a side headlock on Kofi. Kingston runs the ropes, nails Bryan, and tags Truth. Bryan reverses an armbar and refuses to tag Kane in. Truth hits the ropes and Kofi blind tags in and hits a crossbody block for two. Bryan escapes and tags in Kane. Kingston tries to kick away on Kane but he reverses and pounds him down in the corner. He reverses a whip and floats over in the corner; he keeps the advantage, utilizing a low bridge to get Kane on the floor. Bryan charges and Kofi backdrops him to the floor as well… right on top of Kane. The tag champs get into an argument on the floor as we head to break. We return with Truth trapped in a Kane bearhug. During the break Kane booted Truth. Truth fires back with a second-rope dropkicks; Kofi gets a tag and springboards onto Kane. He hits mounted punches in the corner and pendulum kicks him. The frog-crossbody gets two and then he nails a kick to the face and the Boom Drop. Kane counters Trouble in Paradise with a goozle but Kingston avoids chokeslam disaster. He tries a triple jump crossbody block but lands right onto an uppercut. Kane plans for a chokeslam but Bryan blind tags in and they get into another fracas which allows Kofi a tag. Truth hits the Lie Detector and the reverse Falcon Arrow for two; Truth pounds on Bryan in the corner and they hit a double team bodyslam move. Kofi applies a keylock. Bryan frees himself and walks into a dropkick; Kofi comes in for a double Russian leg sweep and a splash/legdrop combo. Truth applies another chinlock. Daniel gets to his feet but Truth maintains his advantage; he drop-toeholds Truth into the corner and tags in Kane. Kane enters with a diving clothesline off the top and a low dropkick. Truth kicks out of a pinfall. Kane hits his side slam and thinks chokeslam again. Bryan tries the same blind tag move but Kane catches him so he goozles him on the apron. Bryan drops him off the top rope and he recoils right into the Little Jimmy. Bryan then saves his partner from getting pinned. Kingston rushes in and takes Bryan out of the ring. Kane nails Truth with a chokeslam. Bryan tags himself in and slaps on the No Lock to get the submission. Post-match, Bryan celebrates and declares himself the tag team champions. Kane steals both belts and says the same thing. Bryan says “no” a lot until he decides to hug it out. Kane obliges and everything is better… until they start arguing over who is the tag team champions. 7/10 So much fun; Team Friendship is such a great tag team and the WWE capitalized on them (with the titles) at just the right time. The team is a good mi of power and speed; Kane always raises his game when he’s either tagging with or wrestling a good wrestler.
Here are your winners… Kane and Daniel Bryan @ about 12:15 (broadcast) via No Lock submission.
Randy Orton vs. Tensai (w/Sakamoto): So, Orton wants to be a heel again? They lock up and Tensai powers him into the corner. Orton fights back but runs into a reverse elbow. Randy tries to slug his way back but a forearm ends that in a hurry. He head-butts Randy in the corner and gets in a few elbows to the back; he continues to beat Orton in the ropes. Tensai hits a powerslam for two. He drops an elbow for two more and then applies a bearhug. Orton tries to fight back but another head-butt puts him back down; he ground-and-pounds Orton to silence Tensai locks in a trapezius hold (that will not wake them up). Randy surprises the big guy with a short-powerslam. Tensai rolls to the floor where Orton gives chase; they fight on the apron and Randy gets the Viper DDT. He coils but Tensai counters the RKO; he charges Orton in the corner but he moves and plants Tensai with the RKO for three. 4/10 Two straight losses to Orton and Tensai is on losing streak since his initial push; too bad, Tensai is a good wrestler, but no one cares about him.
Here is your winner… Randy Orton @ about 6:40 via RKO pinfall.
In the back, Alberto Del Rio and CM Punk initial get into a war of words over who should follow whom. Punk eventually breaks his silence and they agree to team up against common enemies.
Damien Sandow comes out and berates the fans. Sandow celebrates back to school season. Sandow is here to prep us all for school; he tells Jim Ross that “slobberknocker” is not a word. He has a list of vocab words. The first word is “temerity” and the second word is “ignoramus”. Zack Ryder shows up and gives Sandow a few vocab words like “shut” and “up”; he also adds that they have a match next…
Zack Ryder vs. Damien Sandow: We join the match in progress as Sandow in now in lavender trunks. He floors Ryder with a shoulderblock but gets caught with a flapjack. Ryder clotheslines Sandow to the floor and pescados out onto him; back in the ring, Ryder gets two. Sandow tosses Ryder into the ropes; throat first, to take over. Damien aggressively takes over and hits a knee drop. He then hits the kneepadless knee drop also for two. Damien applies a chinlock. Ryder tries to free himself but gets nailed with the Russian leg sweep and the Cubito Aequet for two. Sandow pounds Ryder in the corner; he sneaks in a schoolboy and inside cradle, both for two. Ryder begins the comeback with forearms and a faceplant; he looks for the Broski Boot but Sandow heads to the floor. Ryder gives chase but eventually gets caught reentering. Damien pounds in the corner again but charges into the double knee and finally hits the Broski Boot… for two. Sandow kicks his leg out of his leg and lands Finis for three. 3/10 Sandow squash and he is capable hanging with main eventers now.
Here is your winner… Damien Sandow @ about 5:55 via Finis pinfall.
John Cena & Sheamus vs. CM Punk & Alberto Del Rio (w/Paul Heyman & Ricardo Rodriguez): Punk celebrates with the title for literally full minute. Cena and Punk start off… until Punk tags Del Rio in to seek advice from Paul Heyman. Cena and Del Rio give it a go and John shoulderblocks into a series of stomps in the corner. Cena gets a pair of backdrops and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus aggressively takes over and shrugs off a comeback attempt with a Finlay roll. Cena gets a tag and beats Punk from pillar-to-post. He looks for the AA but Punk grabs the ropes and thumbs him in the eyes. Punk slides to the floor, and converses with Heyman. Punk reenters and stomps him into the floor. Del Rio makes the exchange and hits a nice savate kick. Del Rio adds his “not for television” offense; Punk adds a kick to the back of the head. He tries to fight back but Punk takes his leg out. Cena eventually would make the tag and Sheamus runs wild with Irish Hammers. He assaults Punk in the corner and hits a short clothesline. Del Rio tags in and hits a nice superkick. Sheamus eventually fights back, sidestepping a Del Rio charge and hits O‘Clubbering. He nails White Noise and readies for the Brogue Kick. Punk provides a distraction and Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two. Punk tags in and applies a chinlock; Sheamus fires right back and they exchange blows… until Punk nails a low dropkick. Punk with a crossbow hold. Sheamus counters but Punk drags him back to his corner. Alberto enters and immediately hooks for a chinlock. This goes on for a while until Sheamus hits the Irish Curse. Cena gets the hot tag and pounds on Punk with shoulderblocks and a Proto-bomb; Punk tries to counter the Five-Knuckle shuffle so Cena clamps on the STF. Del Rio makes the save. Sheamus pulverizes him with a Brogue Kick; Punk wipes him out but turns right into an AA. Cena gets the three count despite Punk’s foot on the rope. Post-match, Punk and Heyman argue with the referee. 5/10 Meh main event with Punk getting his taste of controversial counts. Punk is mad because he got pinned by Cena, which will probably make him the number one contender.
Here are your winners… John Cena and Sheamus @ about 13:10 (broadcast) via AA pinfall.
OVERALL 4/10 There were not quite enough quality matches to warrant a higher score; I have no problems with this since the WWE usually does a little reshuffling of storylines post-PPV. Long show, I’m going to bed now.