“On the Marc” 11/23/2012 Friday Night SmackDown Review

From Grand Rapids, Michigan

Commentator: Josh Matthews & JBL

Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Big Show… Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No… NXT Championship: Seth Rollins… Diva’s Champion: Eve Torres

The Miz is in the ring to open show with a MizTV segment; his guest is John Cena, to whom he has a lot of questions. John removes the director’s chair and plop down on the leather couch. Miz goes into the whole AJ Scandal and discusses the make out session. Miz asks him how the kiss was. Cena slowly rises so Miz changes his tune to asking about the knee. John mentions that the MRI revealed that he has a gimpy knee but can still compete; are there any tough questions? Miz then asks if he and AJ Lee are “just friends.” Cena admits that he liked kissing AJ. Really? Really? Really? He then asks that if the scandal brought them together and reiterates if they are really just friends. AJ comes out next. She says that she understands the kiss was just to prove a point; Cena acts like he wanted this to go further. Miz asks if they are in love. I suddenly feel like I’m recapping grammar school or one of those Subway commercials where the adults have little kid voices. Miz acts about eight years old here, Cena calls him an idiot, which now brings out Dolph Ziggler. Dolph says that Cena has feelings for her but he questions AJ’s motives. He feels that AJ “set him up” when she confronted him in the locker room which inadvertently hurt his knee more. Ziggler says he hates AJ’s guts. Well that was mean. He shows clips as to why, which was the locker room incident. This is making no sense. Vickie Guerrero is out next. She says mean things about her and adds that Dolph kisses women who are powerful and passionate. Cena calls her a liar saying that we still can’t medically prove that she is a woman. Dolph says if he did kiss AJ, he’d bring the real woman out of her; he calls Cena and AJ, two weak losers. Cena tells him that he and Vickie are opposite: one likes to eat lots of nuts and the other is still searching for his and dismisses them. 2.5/10 The commentators sell this as controversial. Controversially painful, from Dolph making no sense, to Miz acting like he is eight, to Cena making stupid jokes; that whole segment and this whole scandal storyline is wearing on me with no payoff in sight. I think they’ve painted themselves into a corner here and I don’t think they know what to do now.

Ryback vs. Darren Young (w/Titus O’Neil):   Here is a battle of former Nexus members; actually these are two guys kicked out of Nexus, one because he sucked and the other because he got hurt. O’Neil joins for commentary and this has trainwreck written all over it, in and out of the ring. Young tries to box the Big Hungry until he gets caught and tosses him all over the ring. Young keeps trying to fight back but runs into a big boot. He tosses Young on his face and then out of the ring. O’Neil blows his whistle at him distracting him for about three seconds before he nails a charging Young with an elbow. Ryback tells O’Neil that he hits hard; Titus believes the he needs some medication. Back in the ring, Ryback hits a corner clothesline and Vader Splash. Spinebuster! Meat Hook Clothesline! Shell Shocked! Done! Post-match, Titus grabs a mic and yells at Ryback who decimates him with another Shell Shocked. 3/10 Ryback squash as he took apart the Primetime Players. I guess O’Neil gets squashed on Raw and then a two-on-one destruction to finish off the Players after that.

Here is your winner… Ryback @ about 3:50 via Shell Shocked pinfall.

R-Truth (w/Little Jimmy) vs. Antonio Cesaro:   Non-title Survivor Series rematch. Pre-match, Cesaro makes fun of Thanksgiving and Americans; the usual fat and obese stuff. Cesaro gets him with a gutwrench and bodyslam right at the bell. The running stomp follows. Cesaro applies a reverse waistlock in the mat; Truth fires up and they get into a slugfest. Truth wins and hits a flying something; he hits the splits and then nails a leg lariat. He tries a suplex but Cesaro reverses and hits a head-butt to the back of his head. Cesaro tries the Neutralizer but Truth comes back with a backdrop and Little Jimmy to get three! 3.5/10 The commentators sell Truth’s “scouting” from Raw as the reason for the victory… Gee, what didn’t he just scout before the friggin’ PPV? He beat the US Champ in like two minutes!

Here is your winner… R-Truth @ about 2:20 via Little Jimmy pinfall.

Sheamus arrives in the building and bumps into Booker T. Book gets in his face about the chair attack and the parking lot brawl. T tells him that he ain’t competing tonight but books a chairs title match for the TLC PPV. He tells Sheamus to take the night off and chill in his skybox. Big Show is wrestling tonight against Team Hell No.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez):   Since it’s one on one we get the annoying Cara Lighting. Del Rio opens with kicks but misses a Bossman Straddle and slides to the floor right in Ricardo’s lap; Cara pescados out onto both of them. Back in the ring, he gets two. Cara misses a running kick and ADR hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker; Del Rio tries to hiptoss him but Cara bounds off the ropes and hits an armdrag. Del Rio gets a kick in and tosses Cara into the post shoulder first. Back from commercial, ADR is trying to remove the mask and segues into a chinlock. Cara sneaks in a schoolboy for two. Del Rio continues to toss him into the corner a few times and gets a nearfall. He continues to ground the Luchadore with a chinlock. Cara comes back with a Frankensteiner Spike for two. ADR hits a running kick and boot. He hits a float-over snap-suplex for two; he misses a charge so Cara tries to attack but Del Rio catches him with a spinebuster, for two. ADR goes back to the chinlock as JBL tortures Josh Matthews on commentary. Cara comes back with a weird looking armdrag and pendulum kick in the ropes; he floats into a crossbody via springboard. He hits a springboard elbow and heads up top. ADR armdrags him off the top and immediately snags him in the cross-armbreaker for the tapout. 4/10 Boring Del Rio squash with a few Sin Cara high spots thrown in. The armdrag off the top was pretty cool and ADR going for the win immediately following is a smart move, in kayfabe sense, for him since he’s built as a thinking strategist.

Here is your winner… Alberto Del Rio @ about 9:45 (broadcast) via cross-armbreaker submission.

In the locker room, Kane is stroking his tag title belt. Daniel Bryan comes in and tells him to stay out of his way. Kane is curious. Bryan brings back the forty-five second thing. Kane says it will never happen and brings up his tag title past with Big Show and calls him a whiny baby… just like Bryan. Kane tells them to team and they can call themselves “Team No Show.” Bryan thinks this is about him not inviting Kane to his house for Thanksgiving. Kane replies with, “maybe.” So funny. Bryan tells him he wouldn’t have liked it because they ate vegan turkey. This gets so much better. Bryan tells him that if they win tonight Kane can come to his house for Christmas. Kane asks if he can beat up Santa Claus. Bryan agrees. That was hilarious.

Team Hell No vs. Big Show two-on-one handicap match:   Show semi-hobbles to the ring, still selling the beating from Survivor Series. If he squashes the tag champions some hurt that’ll be the death knell for the division that is finally getting back over. Bryan wants to start and kicks way at the injuries sustained via chair. Show collects himself and destroys Bryan as Sheamus and William Regal watch from the skybox. Bryan fights back and… gets tossed on his ass again. He lifts Bryan by the beard and tosses him back down. The methodical destruction continues. Bryan tries some No Kicks but Show no-sells them all and floors him with one head-butt. Show continues to work the arm over and wraps it in the ropes; he whiplashes the arm down and slams him. Show goes to the second rope and MISSES the big elbow drop. Bryan crawls over but REFUSES to tag. Bryan lays into Show with a huge series of No Kicks but tries a pinfall and gets launched on the kickout. Show looks for a chokeslam but it’s countered with a guillotine choke. He pushes Bryan into the corner to break; Bryan tries to come off the ropes but gets caught. Bryan manages to turn that into a sleeper hold and wears the giant down. Show begins to fade so he falls back onto him to break. Kane gets the tag and he hits clotheslines in the corner. He takes the leg out and hits a low dropkick; Kane to the top for the diving clothesline. Kane with a goozle but Show tosses him into the ropes to break; he comes back with the Undertaker DDT. Kane goes for the chokeslam again but Bryan tags himself in. Kane gets annoyed and walks off as Bryan slaps on the No Lock. Show kicks him off and chokeslams Bryan for the pinfall. Post-match, Kane comes back to protect Bryan from further attack and to yell at Bryan. Show tries to kayo Kane but gets caught in a goozle. Show breaks the grip and goozles Kane; Bryan kicks Show’s leg allowing Kane to boot him out of the ring. Show grabs the mic and tells Sheamus that the giant will have the chair this time. 3/10 Long boring beating of Bryan that made him look like a total chump when Kane walked off on him; I guess it is to keep the “sibling rivalry” thing with Team Hell No going but the fact remains that Show defeated the tag champions by himself.

Here is your winner… Big Show @ about 8:50 (broadcast) via chokeslam pinfall.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Kofi Kingstonvs. Damien Sandow:   This match was made because Sandow pinned Kofi last week. Wade Barrett joins for commentary since he also pinned Kofi on Raw. Sandow hits a head-butt and a vertical suplex at the bell. Kofi fires back clotheslining him to the floor. The commentators try to get “Wildcat” over as a nickname for Kofi. Sandow avoids a pescado and tosses Kofi into the post and then back-first into the ring apron. Back from commercial, Damien has Kingston in a chinlock. Kofi fires back as Barrett admits that he wasn’t trying to permanently blind him on Raw, just enough to win the match. Sandow hits a kneelift and then goes into the trapped kneelifts, Russian leg sweep and the Cubito Aequet trio for a nearfall. He rubs Kofi’s face in the mat which almost brings a comeback out of him but it’s cut off. Sandow hits a Bossman Straddle for two and then applies a chinlock. Kingston tries a fight back but Sandow elbows him on the apron. Kofi flips over and mule kicks Sandow on the floor. Sandow keeps the advantage by shoving Kofi into the apron. He tries to toss him into the post but Kofi blocks and heads to the top for a crossbody for a nearfall. Sandow rolls to the apron and kicks Kingston’s knee out causing him to fall throat-first into the bottom rope. Back in the ring, Sandow stacks him up for two. Kofi hits the S.O.S. for two. The comeback begins with double chops and dropkick; the Boom Drop follows. He nails Trouble in Paradise to beat Sandow clean. Post-match, Barrett tells Kofi that he’s the next victim of the Barrage. 5/10 Pretty good match as a clean win over a contender for a championship, wow what a concept. I like Sandow and the Cody Rhodes injury will probably set him back as a lower tiered jobber for the time being until Team Rhodes Scholars reunite.

Here is your winner and STILL Intercontinental Champion… Kofi Kingston @ about 10:00 (broadcast) via Trouble in Paradise pinfall.

We recap the CM Punk one year celebration complete with Ryback interruption and Team NXT attack.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler:   They lock up and Orton pounds Dolph in the corner; I see Ziggler is back to wearing pink again since October is over. They lock up again and Orton takes over again and nails a bootlace eye rake. Dolph is able to block a turnbuckle shot and toss Randy into it. The ref pulls him back but Dolph tenaciously continues the onslaught. The ref pulls him off again and the Viper takes the opportunity and hits a dropkick. Dolph winds up on the apron so Orton slingshot suplexes him back into the ring for two. That move looks quite difficult to do, especially from the outside of the ring back to the inside. Randy takes a little too long capitalizing and Ziggler is able to hit a swinging neckbreaker. Orton shrugs it off and tosses Dolph to the floor. He tries to run away into the crowd but bets caught and beaten as we head to break. When we come back, Orton is methodically stomping away under the ropes. He hits a slingshot hangman causing Ziggler to tumble to the floor. Dolph seizes the opportunity and pushes Orton into the announce table. Ziggler hits a dropkick and looks to have hurt his knee on the landing. He heads back into the ring for the countout but Randy slithers back into the ring. Ziggler attacks and hits the Showoff Elbow. He snags him in a chinlock. Orton fights free and gets the Orton Slither out of the corner for a nearfall. Dolph fires right back with a diving clothesline. Dolph applies another chinlock and breaks free and hits the stretch backbreaker for two. Orton slowly approaches and Ziggler surprises him with a leaping DDT for another nearfall. Dolph to the top but Orton cuts him off with a superplex. Randy begins the comeback with his usual (clotheslines, scoop-powerslam and Viper DDT) and tries the RKO but Dolph slips free and schoolboys him with tights for three! Post-match, Alberto Del Rio tries to backjump Orton but poor Ricardo Rodriguez takes an RKO to keep ADR at bay. Elsewhere, John Cena blindsides Ziggler on the stage and applies the STF on him. A bunch of referees try to pull him off as the show closes out. 6.5/10 This match closes out quite the week for Dolph; he gets the better of Cena on Monday, he defeats the Miz in a great match on Main Event and closes the week with a pinfall win over the Viper; too bad the last image is Cena holding him in an STF. Good match nonetheless, and Dolph did pin Orton, clean (well, with trunks, but no one will remember that).

Here is your winner… Dolph Ziggler @ about 12:05 (broadcast) via schoolboy rollup (with trunks) pinfall.

OVERALL 4/10 Boring show, all squashes and nothing much else. The opening promo was painful but the main event was okay. T’was a forgettable show this week… except for the Dolph pinning Orton.